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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Falling in Love


In Blink, Malcom Gladwell shows you that we have a second set of skills we are not aware of; skills that allow us to instantly choose and decide what we like, what is best for us.  These skills are not consciously available; they work best in those blink decisions. When we fall in love, that's what happens.

And that's how we ended up in Port Orford.

We were coming up one late afternoon from the South, on that red highway.  The highway had been shrouded in fog, most of the way.  When we came to that curve of the road, we saw the town's lights, resplendent, clear and brilliant against the rest of the world. 

It was a Brigadoon Moment.

We stopped for the night at The Castaway Motel, up on a ridge overlooking the port. Late in the night, the port kept working hoisting boats up and down the dry dock. We sat and watched for hours. The next morning, we drove to a real estate office and asked to see anything with a view of the water.

The first house we saw was on the lake, on a peninsula facing the Ocean. While hubby looked inside the house, I walked down to the waterfront. From that spot, I could see clear out to Qua-to-Ma Rock, the old man's face lying on the water  told me I had arrived to my final destination.

With tears in my eyes, I walked backed up to the house.

"Let's buy this place!" I said.
"Don't you want to see the inside?" Hubby responded.
"I've seen enough. This is for us."

Seven years later, after we replaced the roof, the flooring, the kitchen, the siding, after we added a sunroom, a French garden, a well, after sinking a good amount of money, we are in love with this place as much as we were on that first day.

Hubby is a scientist by training. He agrees that there was  much to love about this place, and all its negatives could not have dissuaded us.

Thanks Mr. Gladwell for explaining this behavior.

42 comments:

Monkey Man said...

You chose a wonderful slice of heaven in that end of the Oregon Coast. It is unlike any other place in the world with its beauty.

Brian Miller said...

isnt it interesting how life works out like that...

Sharon McPherson: AUTHOR said...

Your place sounds like heaven. Thank goodness for those blinking moments.

I am still looking for my piece of heaven and an arch-angel to share it with. Perhaps, I am staring when I should be blinking.

Wander to the Wayside said...

This simple post brought a lump to my throat and almost a tear to my eye. I have never, in my 62 years, been afforded the opportunity to move to a place or a house because of that love you just spoke of. I have always moved from necessity, to a place that was convenient, to a place that just happened to be available at the moment I needed it. What a wonderful thing that happened to you two...what a gift.

lakeviewer said...

Wander--Sometimes though, you have to assert your instincts. We quit our jobs and retired on a whim too. We tend to overplan in so many ways that it felt great quitting our jobs and looking for a new place. The only thing we did methodically was sell the old house and arrange for our pensions to follow us.

Tom Bailey said...

The thing that also came to mind when I read this is how remodels and building things like this either draw couples closer or split them apart (from my experiences). Doing things like this are often coupled with stressful situations from dealing with the variety of people that are often needed.

I never would have put Gladwell in with this until you pointed it out and now I can see what you are saying.

Thanks for sharing this.

Tom Bailey

Woman in a Window said...

I love it, Rosaria! This is how I will live my life from now on. It's been my way for a while, but it will be my future, too. What is there to lose? So much to gain.

xo
erin

potsoc said...

Way to go, I agree. We always had to fall in love before renting, buying or going to a place.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Lovely...I'd love to have a photo walk round your garden someday...

Eleonora said...

What a wonderfully told life-changing event! I love instinct stories. This one spole t my heart, because I would love to experience that same instant "blink" one day, on a beach with a home and a loving husband before me.

Wonderful Rosaria.

becky at abbeystyle said...

My husband and I have always bought on instinct...sometimes it works out well, other times not...

I'm glad things worked out so well for you in Port Orford.

We bought our second home on instinct...liked the words, "quaint and quirky" that described the town in a travel magazine...it was listed as one of the 10 best places to retire in the US. It has proven to be true.

An English Shepherd said...

Sometimes you just love something at first sight :-)

Wizz

Sophia said...

I'm impressed that you overcame the stress of a situation like that and made it! :) I would LOVE to be in a place so beautiful as Oregon!!! :) Hugs!

Ribbon said...

I envy your passion for where you live. Though some would say that I live in a beautiful corner of Australia it doesn't make my heart sing.
Sometimes I think that I have seen too much of this big beautiful country and it leaves me wanting more :)

Love the way you told this story.

xx Ribbon

Journaling Woman said...

Home is where the heart is and you finally found home?

Natalie said...

It certainly is a wonderful life. :D

willow said...

I love those Brigadoon moments.

Cloudia said...

What a wonderful testimony to deep knowledge! We moved to Hawaii sight unseen...



Aloha, Friend


Comfort Spiral

RNSANE said...

It is so wonderful that the two of you chanced on this spot and felt about it in the same way. It's kismet or fate or whatever...two kindred spirits who sometimes, or perhaps, often, think in the same way, at the same time. I love hearing this kind of story because it makes me believe that dreams still do come true. I, occasionally, begin to doubt it.

Ocean Girl said...

A house on the lake on a peninsula facing the ocean. You are truly blessed.

Bagman and Butler said...

Sometimes you just know. I'm glad you followed that sudden awareness rather than thinking it to death.

Susan said...

Very inspiring. Especially the idea that you are happy and that even though you worked hard on it, it was a work of love.

the walking man said...

That gut instinct is the wisest portion of our being. Learning to follow that instinct is the hardest lesson of our life.

Good for you and the husband for finding wisdom in a place that you love easily.

Fire Byrd said...

How wonderful to just know you were home. Glad it's worked out so well.
x

Kikit said...

For sure you had no regrets of buying it. I think that moment made your place homier.

Gaston Studio said...

Oh, I can totally relate to that feeling of falling in love with a house on first sight! When my daughter and I found the one we're in, after looking in many states for 18 months, we knew we were home.

She Writes said...

I love it. Serendipitous.

Marguerite said...

Great story! That place had your name on it! What a stroke of good luck to have found it.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Your experience with your beloved home is so similar to my own. Whist my husband chatting with the owners inside, I wandered in the back garden with my father, under ancient, wise old trees. I was sold.

Of course, I also felt exactly like this the first time I went to Scotland. Maybe I'll live there someday?

Diana said...

I LOVE to hear stories like these. Our decision to buy our new home was similar...in fact, my husband looked at the internet listing, called our agent, called me to say he was looking at it in an hour, and would be buying it, did I want to come see? Initially I was taken aback, but when I walked into the house (he was already filling out offer paperwork), I knew too. And Helena, who had poo pooed many of the houses we looked at, was instantly at home and in love.

I'm reading The Outliers right now, and it's blowing me away...I think I'll need to read Blink next.

Nancy said...

What an inspiring story! I still hope to find that perfect place that will be our last home to buy. I believe it will be in Oregon or Washington. Love where you live. We will be caring for our grandson in a couple of months and spending some time in Manzanita, where my daughter's in-laws have a home. I love the Oregon coast.

Cynthia Pittmann said...

Wonderful story of decision-making inspired by that quality of knowing! Have you seen the film version of Under the Tuscan Sun? There's a house selling scene that requires a "sign" also...it's cute and funny.

Eternally Distracted said...

Oh it sounds wonderful... there is nothing like love at first sight :0)

Reasons said...

Good gut decision. It really is wonderful there.

Enchanted Oak said...

This was a wonderful tale. How gifted you are with that town, that house, that place to belong. My husband and I also came to a place, looked at a house, and knew it was for us. We've never been sorry to have made a decision in a blink of an eye, by sheer instinct, on a wing and a prayer.

NitWit1 said...

What a lovely saga about picking your retirement home.

Indeed it was a gift of a blinking moment.

Gigi said...

How very odd - I am struggling through this book at the moment (not the type I'd normally read). But I do understand - sometimes you just know and have to go with it! So happy it's worked out well for you.

cheshire wife said...

After all the work that you have done on the house if you don't love it, there is something wrong.

Delwyn said...

Hi Rosaria

thank you for this delightful story of following your instincts...and falling in love with a place...

I am familiar with this feeling and think I would rely on those inner prompts for any major change...

Happy days

Rob-bear said...

Would love to be able to live like that. Sadly, it takes more money than we have.

Glad you love your place. Sounds wonderful!

Terra said...

I love this story, of how you immediately fell in love with the town and the house, and acted upon it.
My dh and I found where we live in a similar way, after traveling to Hawaii, Puget Sound, and Greece. All of those places were appealing but we ended up in love with a small town in California, and here we are.

fiftyodd said...

Wow. LUcky you! We have been building out retirement home for the past 5 years and staying in it often on week-ends with our kids and grandchildren. This way, it won't feel like an upheaval when we do retire. It's already our beloved home.