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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

This time last year.


A year ago today, out apple trees and pear trees were laden with sweet fruit.
I made applesauce, apple pies, pear tarts.
My friends and neighbors were showered with fruit products.
Relatives from Washington State spent the weekend with us, and we planned a bigger family reunion  with the rest of the troupe for 2011.

Well, here is October 2011, and we are all scattered to the four winds, bent and busy, barren and beaten.

It turned out that Brian's Memorial Ceremony reunited most  of the relatives, and friends we had not seen since we left Los Angeles ten years ago.  We promised each other to make an effort to come together for joyful occasions, the way God and Patriarchs had intended.

My relatives in Italy, however, will still be missing.

When people left to seek their fortunes on another continent, the send-off was very much like a funeral. People did not return for decades, sometimes never again. Few people have the resources to visit regularly.

Do keep in touch with your loved ones. Time is a precious commodity.



61 comments:

Grandmother said...

So many changes in a single year. When you planned a 2011 reunion, little did you know… It's good we don't know all the future holds for us. Changing continents has implications for closeness, so finding ways to stay in touch with loved ones is precious indeed.

Eva Gallant said...

It is so true that we need to keep in touch with loved ones! Time is short...we never know.

quilterliz said...

G'day Rosaria. We don't realise, do we, just what can happen in the short space of time.Tomorrow, next week, next year, things can be so very different. You are right about keeping in touch with loved ones. Sometimes we need to make a bit more of an effort.Take care. Liz...

Brian Miller said...

true that...keeping in touch opens the door for many a blessing...i am glad that your were able to come back together with many...

RNSANE said...

Oh, Rosaria, I feel the sadness in your note. It must be very hard without Brian. I have delayed in packing because a friend from Switzerland was here for a few days....a forensic toxicologist who is a relatively new friend in my life for about ten years. His son, Henri, spent two months with us over two summers and he and my Jeremy became friends. Jeremy has now been to Switzerland twice and so have I.

About six months ago, Werner came close to dying of cancer. I thought I'd never see him again. Thankfully, he survived and was able to travel here for a conference...and he spent four days, besides, with me. I felt it was a gift and the packing be damned.

Julie said...

Last year, I reconnected with two cousins which has been a delight. In a few weeks, ten cousins are journeying to the small town in Australia where our GG-granparents settled in 1862 when they migrated from Gloucestershire in the UK. We think we can detail (and name) his final resting place. Which will be a joy!

I am new to your blog, and apprecite both your topics and your writing. Thank you.

Monkey Man said...

Sound advice.

JeannetteLS said...

I know what you mean. My thoughts are with you Rosaria, and your advice is spot on. And if you do not have relatives left, old friends become far more important than one might dream. I would be lost without those connections now.

I hope that October goes gently with you. You need it.

becky said...

A wise reminder...thank you.

Footprints of Peace said...

My trees are still too young to bear such fruit, but I can't wait. For now I just let the animals and insects enjoy them.

oceangirl said...

Thank you Rosaria. I am always grateful for sweet memories. They are ours to keep.

Phoenix said...

A great reminder, Rosaria. I call my mother at least once a week - to hear her voice, to catch up, to talk to my one of my best friends. Family is so important to hold onto, to stay connected to.

Beautiful post. I hope you are doing okay.

yaya said...

When my nephew passed away I was very glad I hadn't missed our annual week before Christmas get together...it was the last time we were all together with him and the pictures we took are now so precious. My Greek Grandparents left home and family to seek a better life here and my Grandmother never saw her parents (or Greece) again. I call my Mom about 4 times a week and I can't imagine not seeing her...as she ages (she's 85) the time we spend together and the times we yak on the phone forever are the best. Thanks for another wonderful reminder of what's really important.

Retired English Teacher said...

We try to stay in touch. I have a hard time even getting my children and grandchildren all in one place. They are scattered across three states. I wish we were together more often. You are so right, life is too short, we must make every effort to be together with loved ones.

ellen abbott said...

Well, you had your reunion it seems. Just not under the circumstances you expected. My family is small and we have on last living member of the previous generation. She's in her 90s. When she dies, my sister will be the matriarch.

Cloudia said...

yes. Moving to Hawaii when one doesn't often travel long distances reminded me of what my ancestors experienced moving to America!



Warm Aloha from Honolulu;

Comfort Spiral



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The Broad said...

With all the drama and business of our daily lives it can sometimes be a struggle to maintain relationships with those we love who are far away. My family is spread to far corners of the earth -- I've not been with my eldest son and three grandsons and wonderful daughter-in-law for almost 4 years. However, I am blessed to live in the age of the Internet and Skype, which helps a lot to bridge the great distances.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. family can be spread far and wide - but your Brian brought them together again and I'm sure his garden will hold many other get-togethers saluting the earth and its people ... relatives and friends.

Don't wait too long seems to be the saying .. live life to the full .. and for reasons you want to .. essential thoughts - Hilary

potsoc said...

I feel so blessed to have all my children and grandchildren near by and very old friends not too far away.
Must remember to thank God for that.
I feel for your sorrow and hope some solace will come to you through your virtual friends, Rosaria.

NitWit1 said...

Since we were bound to the US Navy we became used a nomadic life. We finally retired in an area of our choosing, and our relatives are almost equally divided in distance from us.

It is becoming more difficult to physically see them and communicate as much as possibly by e-mail and phone. (some do not use computers, nor wish to learn)

It seem like only yesterday we settled in Arkansas, but 31 years have rushed by, and now we are old.

She Writes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
She Writes said...

Typos!



Seasons changing always cause me to remember the last one that was this one... And not.

My life changed after I was adopted at twelve. All of my life people are missing and I feel their absence. Even if I could visit we lost something when I was no longer apart of them. When I have visited them, there is a strange sense of relief and sadness mingling.

Your writing of Italy reminds me of that in a way. It makes my heart ache a little. There is a sense I am not at home as fully as I should be because of my missing family.

You are in my thoughts often in this season of your life. ((((()))))!

ds said...

Although I am glad that you were able to have your old dear friends around you, I do understand that other sense of loss. Technology perhaps makes the second easier now...
So much happens in a year, in an hour; we must never take anything for granted. You are one brave woman, and so very wise.
Thank you, and (( ))

Joani said...

Rosaria....Thank you. I try & stay in touch with the relatives who have been kind to me but at times that is hard too. Others come and go in my life & I believe that is the way it is suppose to be. This will be a hard time of year for you and my thoughts & prayers are with you. Thanks for sharing.

Maggie May said...

Having had my own offspring living in Japan for so long, I do know that awful feeling of saying goodbye. I should imagine before the days of planes & email it would have felt like losing that relative for good.
Hope you get many people to make the effort to visit on those special occasions.
You must miss the Italian relatives. Do you have Skype?
Maggie X

Nuts in May

#1Nana said...

Good advice. I'm reading your blog on my granddaughter's laptop in Austin, Texas. Just today I found out that they may be moving in the very near future to Oregon! What a blessing it would be to have them close to home.

I harvested probably the last of my tomatoes before I left, but didn't have time to cook up another batch of tomato sauce. I do, however, have quite a stockpile frozen. We decided to make more of an effort with a garden next year because our little patch of tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers was so successful this year. Thanks for the encouragement to learn to cook this stuff!

Reasons said...

Mr Reasons and I have always made a huge effort to visit friends and family as we have been the ones to move away. Increasingly though, it is more difficult due to him working away, the children's school commitments and social lives, health issues etc. We do what we can and use Skype, telephone, letters and cards. I miss them though and would love to have more time together.

Helen said...

I echo what others have said here ... is there a chance you could return to Italy for a visit?

Diana said...

It is you who are amazing, and strong. glad you are managing the grief, and still feeling grateful. you are an inspiration to me.

Dawn said...

Oh I DO wish and hope a trip for you to family.
Yes....time. An evil it seems at most times.
Hugs to you....and thankyou for a reminder of what is truly important!

cheshire wife said...

Would we want to see the future? I think not. It is better for life to be full of surprises. Unfortunately they are not always pleasant.

About Me said...

Time is a precious commodity.

How true this is. It seems we only begin to cromprehend this when time is running out.

Joe Kerrigan
Visit me at pajoes.com

Hilary said...

You give wise advice, Rosaria. You always do. Time and distance is less disconcerting than in days gone by but reunions are still a great cause for celebration.

Amanda said...

amen rosaria. this advice about keeping in touch with relatives is spot on. i just sent off a letter and a bunch of photos to an aunt who i heard was wondering why her nieces and nephews hadn't been in touch......makes me really sad to think she is feeling neglected.

Rob-bear said...

With the death of my parents, and being an only child, I have lost track of my extended family. I can contact a couple of my cousins on my dad's side, and I think I know where there are a couple of cousins on my mother's side. But living half a continent away from my folks meant that I dropped a lot of contact with other family members.
Sadly, I guess.

Lydia said...

I know you are right about keeping in touch with loved ones, and I do alright in that department (in large part thanks to Facebook)...except for with my sister. We have not be in touch now for nine months. Long story, or, more truthfully, latest volume in a really long story. We have no one to blame but each other, and ourselves. sigh.

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