Why 180?
Because that is the number of students I carried on the roll when I was teaching. I was trained to keep track and study and encourage and know all those young people, who, after just a semester or year, they would change and move on.
So, I know the drill. People come and people go. While they are in front of me, we have a relationship of sorts. If they want to be invisible, it is not going to work too well. Oh sure, they can lurk around and borrow some paper here, a picture there. I don't see their coming and going directly. But, I do notice their absence.
My question: why do people sign up to follow and never stop to leave a comment? We are not a newspaper. We are not a magazine either. We are blogs, relating personal stories and commentaries of personal significance. I want to know how you live, what you eat for supper when you're tired, where you go on vacation, how frustrated you become with your partner. I want to know your habits, your tastes, your opinions.
I want to know how another human manages to survive in this forest called life.
Now. if you want to brag and list all your blessings and possessions, go ahead. I'll clap at the right point in the conversation. But, I may not hang around too long. You see, I can listen to Mr. Trump and get the same over-the-top-I shouts. I can go to UTube and watch "How to stop cats from pissing on your car." for sheer entertainment value. Don't tell me what you paid for your merchandise, either. Stuff doesn't catch my attention.
Stories do.
Tell it to me in your words.
From your seat.
I'm glad you found me. Now, let me know you.
65 comments:
Interesting post. I scrutinise my followers and crop the list every now and then. Same reasons as yours. I'm more interested in interacting than just socialising for the sake of socialising.
Many thanks.
Greetings from London.
Well, good for you for laying it all out, Rosaria. Sometimes, I'm afraid I say too much. After all, I am a Southern belle and we were raised to be discreet and not share personal information. I was a failure at that from the beginning! Of course, I wasn't a debutante, either.
I try to visit my followers. Often, I get behind at that. Life interferes but, of course, we are all busy. Sometimes, especially of late, Blogger gives us woes. I on't know what's going on with that.
Yep, it's the stories of real lives that grab me. You're one.
I'm a shy girl. Not anywhere near retirement yet. I do enjoy reading your blog, I enjoy reading about other people's lives to understand my own. I don't follow very many blogs and really only found yours when it was listed on the blogs of note but I find your point of view interesting and definitely something to think about as I travel along in life. I hope you won't mind me staying shyly hidden as I read but if you would prefer not I'll go away, no offense taken.
Are we ever on the same page! Every month or so I review names of the bloggers I follow ... and, yes .. if I haven't heard from them in months OR if they haven't posted in more than a month without a really great reason previously explained .. I leave them. I so enjoy learning about the lives, interests, everyday happenings of others. I also have come to recognize many of the blogging poets just by reading their poems .. I wouldn't have to see their names. That is nice. Have a lovely Memorial Day (Decoration Day) ....
Following is a funny thing. I ahve 11 followers, I know, through Feedjit' that most visit somewhat regularly but most do not comment; one does not even seem to have a blog?
I take it as it comes and I get several hits from non followers, go figure.
I'm afraid I'm one of those who hasn't been commenting lately, Rosaria, but not because I haven't been reading. The fact is, for some reason I haven't been able to come up with words either at other's blogs or my own! I read and have a comment in my head, but can't seem to get it to 'paper'. I have blog posts in my head, but, again, can't seem to get them to 'paper'. But I most definitely have been reading you, and am sorry that I haven't let you know that!
I actually don't usually sign up to be a follower, but do keep my blog list up-to-date (and small), and check it every day, and, like you, if I lose interest or if they haven't recipricated interest in me, I move on down the road.
I sometimes think I've shared way too much personal stuff in my posts, but can't really see the point of having a blog if it's not about sharing our commonalities as well as our differences. Plus, I hope someday my grandsons will be old enough and interested enough to see what mawmaw had going on in her head and heart.
As readers of my blog know, there is just about nothing I won't share. I'm that way in person too. It's my life, what else am I going to talk about? anyway, I do that too. Winnow out the list of blogs I follow every now and then. I try to keep up with all the ones I follow (and boy am I glad they don't all post every day) and while I may not comment on every post, I try to comment often enough so that the blogger knows I'm an active reader.
I have rather more than 180 on my feed reader, but it's not quite as simple as your way. Some people only post occasionally, but I don't necessarily want to lose touch. For example, one blogger I think a great deal of (and we did meet once) stopped blogging for a long time, nearly two years. He did explain the reason, which was pressure of work, but he's just started blogging again and it transpires that he's been through a really difficult time recently and only just felt up to writing about it. I'm so glad I didn't drop him.
Some people never comment and, in that case, I might become less likely to leave regular comments on their blogs, but if I like their writing, I continue reading. I always visit anyone who leaves a genuine comment (not spam, obviously) and normally comment back, and usually start reading their blog unless it's really not my cup of tea!
Interesting discussion Rosaria. I think there's so many reasons and answers to your question. I follow so many blogs, I've lost count. Some because of one interesting post and some for their personality that shines through their blogs, or others for their content or information they provide. I try and leave comments when I feel a post speaks to me and sometimes just to say hello. But also because I have so many interests and so many blogs I follow, there is I think...a cyclical pattern as well to my reading.
I hope that helps. Hope you're well and having a great weekend!
I think that there are, for me anyway, times when I feel more chatty through the blogs, and other times when keeping track by Facebook is enough.
But I do read your blog most of the time. I will have to cull my followers list as well.
Keep on writing and keeping me in touch with what's happening in beautiful Oregon.
I always read your blog but I don't always leave a comment. It's like being a listener, I guess.
I follow some blogs where most of the content is photography. I know I'm following a visual person, which I am not.
Good points, though. Thanks for your candor.
Well I can understand your point of view but I don't really mind a silent Follower. I suppose I am flattered that they wanted to in the first place.
However a real friendship is a two way thing.
I have *friends * that seem to have disappeared but I wouldn't *get rid of them* because I am always hoping they will return one day.
Maybe I am strange!
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Funny... 180. Students, days of school, what else? I haven't been writing on my blog as much as I used to... I was boring myself, but now I've been on a trip & have something new to say! Hope you'll drop by my place.
I agree with you. I don't always post a comment because some posts don't speak to me. Sometimes I don't comment on the blogs with a lot of comments because I'd just be rehashing what many others have said.
I wish blogger made it easier to respond to individuals. I tried responding in the comments in my blog, but I don't think a lot of people check back. I do enjoy the interaction.
hear, hear...for me blogging is about the relationship...through reading and commenting...one sided convos get tiring pretty quick...so i am with you...
G'day Rosaria. I greatly enjoyed reading this blog of your's. I only follow a handful of blogs and don't have many followers, which is ok.Out of the blogs I follow only three respond on a regular basis, you being one of them, the others don't bother, so maybe it's time for me to move on. I sometimes feel my blogs is boring and monotonous. I tell about the upcoming move from our farm, but don't tell much about myself or my family.I have always been a private person, but maybe I will write a blog and tell you a bit more about me. Keep up the great work. Take care. Liz...
When I started blogging, I never even imagined having something called "followers"..just maybe a comment or two from family. I could not follow 180 but I sure enjoy the ones I do follow and I love comments. But mostly my blog is probably boring to others because it is just about my life...my family...my job. The main word here is MY..so I will continue to keep my blog so I can have it in book form at the end of the year and I will continue to follow yours and others that make me think, smile, cry, and wish I were as talented. Thanks for the fun!
I agree with you, Rosaria, that a reader/follower who comments can add a great deal to the blog and to the sense of community we all share. I do have some followers who are relatives or close friends who never comment publicly on the blog but might tell me in emails or letters that they read and enjoy the posts. The comments I have come to treasure on my blog are from fellow bloggers and, like you, I love personal stories and comments. I'm fairly new to the blogging community and have only a modest number of Followers -- many friends and relatives are too shy to Follow -- so I don't plan to cull anybody! But I do especially value those in our blogging community who do comment and add so much to the discussion of a particular post!
So funny you posted this because I've been thinking about this very thing! Early on, some folks would be reciprocal in coming by my blog and leaving comments. Then they seemed to just get into being followed themselves and don't stop by, or don't comment. I added a lot of followers during the A to Z blog challenge, and a handful of those are the best about visiting and commenting. To manage this for myself, I've taken to only blogging once a week, to give more time for followers to get a chance to see that post. On the rest of the days, I go through the feed and when someone has posted, I visit and usually comment. I do think that if someone NEVER reciprocates, then I'll probably stop following them.
What I find challenging is balancing commenting and writing. When I log on to blogger with the intention of posting I feel an obligation to read through the latest from the blogs that I follow -- and to comment as much as possible. By the time I finish I'm often out of time, or 'spent' or maybe even forgotten what it was I was going to write about! The people I've chosen to follow are not chosen randomly, so it always means a lot when I hear back from them and when I get that special feeling of a 'connection'.
180 is a lot to follow!
Hmmm. Well, I used to comment more often, but after returning to work, I no longer have as much time as I did when I was retired. Nor do I post on my own blog as often. The necessity to work has gotten in the way of living (or playing), I guess. Frankly some days I read without commenting because I have insufficient energy to do so. I guess I have different goals than some.
Hmmm. Well, I used to comment more often, but after returning to work, I no longer have as much time as I did when I was retired. Nor do I post on my own blog as often. The necessity to work has gotten in the way of living (or playing), I guess. Frankly some days I read without commenting because I have insufficient energy to do so. I guess I have different goals than some, as I enjoy reading whether I comment or not.
Hi Rosaria, I do follow your blog and leave comments, and I don't check on who I follow vs. who follows me. If I like a blog I follow. I am in your age group so enjoy your posts and hope you follow me. Gee, shall I check and see? LOL.
Terra
Hello there
Coming out of 'lurkdom' to say Hello
I too glean every now and again - but if I see one of those named on another blogroll I drop in to see if I still enjoy what theya re writing about. There have been occassions when I've refollowed.
It is a give and take situation tho - having my comments ignored makes me feel belittled and yet I know there are times when I just don't have the time to answer (the ones on my blog) or return the favour
Take care
Cathy
Hi Rosaria. I've followed you for awhile now and I never comment on your blog or anywhere because I know that someone else will say what I want to say except much more eloquently. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy - both your blog and their comments! I am not in your agegroup but I don't think age has anything to do with anything. I enjoy your wisdom and thank you!
Rosaria, once again, you hit the nail on the head. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do 180. I will post my site on the ones having the daily parties that I'm interested in. Often I get comments and sometimes not. I don't have as many followers as you do and most don't tend to leave a comment. I have the same problem with classmates who are on facebook and will play the games but won't take the time to stop by and say Hi, how R U today? Kind of irks me but then.....other friends will call U maybe once a month for lunch but in between won't even pick up the phone to call or email.
Anyawy.....I try and make a comment to the ones I visit and I especially like your postings as it sort of hits the things I'm going through life now. This stroll thru life sometimes takes very different roads. Oh, and while I'm thinking about it.....could you eliminate the word verification thingamajobber on your comment page. Thank you. Have a great week.
I enjoy this community and have valued your comments and posts!
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
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I know what you mean, and can appreciate that you're creating a conversation here on some important issues. I'm new at blogging and get very few responses. Also, I follow very few blogs, yours being one of them. My own point of view is that while I would like comments, I write primarily because I love the process. It is my calm point at end of day. Responses, when they do appear, are the gravy.
I don't get to read blogs very much, but I will stop by, read, and go on. I guess that qualifies me as a "lurker"? But I do try to read everyone who follows, that is, when I get to read.
Since I had to switch blogs due to the old stalkerini, I didn't let anyone know I moved, so I'm starting over on readers, followers, etc.
Provoking post, Rosaria. I probably need to think about some of that myself - and definitely the commenting part.
You are SO right on! I blog because I love to blog but also to expand my sphere of acquaintances and their experiences.
I love receiving comments and, even though our internet coverage is sometimes less than ideal as we travel, try to be diligent about taking the time to comment rather than just reading and enjoying...
Always enjoy yours!
What you say is so true! I have 537 followers, yet I seldom get more than 20 or 30 comments. I follow around 200 blogs. I'll admit I don't comment on all of them every day, but I do comment on most of them, most days.
Wow, to follow and comment on 180 blogs, on a continuous basis would be impossible for me! I just don't have that kind of spare time. I think that people "follow" certain blogs for many different reasons. Some just enjoy them, some gain knowledge from them, and some just want to "be seen" on the gadget of a popular blog. Regardless of the reason why a person originally followed my blog, I never un-follow them, because although I may not always have time to comment, I still enjoy reading all of my follower's posts in my Google Reader. As always, a thought provoking post!
Today is hard....some family turmoil...loved ones hurting. There is a glance into my day for you.
My current overwhelming challenge: I am struggling to eat a healthy diet and lose my middle age spread (50 lbs). I am frightened of ill health for myself and my spouse, but I just can't seem to match my intention and nutritional knowledge to my actions...sometimes I feel like a dope fiend getting my junk food fix. "Good Lord have pity on me"
As for who I am, I wake up 99% of days like a pollyanna...naturally seeing the beauty and good everywhere I look. My head runs in auto-pilot of positive thoughts and I get teary at times thinking how blessed I am to live on this beautiful earth and have to wonderful relationships I enjoy.
The future is full of adventure and I am excited each day taking a step closer to retirement and sailing.
I love to work and I am blessed with two jobs I love. However, I am a bit of a workaholic and I sometimes wonder if I should adjust my work/life balance. But...work is just so darn fun! I miss it when I go on vacation.
Well...there's my spilled guts for now. I am someone who rarely comments...just busy I guess. I will try to be a better follower. :)
Btw, I have the same problem on my blog. I rarely have a comment. I would love to know more about those who come through.
Peace to you, my friend!
I divide the blogs I follow into three categories: ones who have chosen to follow mine, ones I feel that I can learn something from and find inspiration from, and ones that share my interests (food, children, paper crafting). I don't get many comments on my blogs, but always appreciate when those coming through have something to share with me. I too often wonder what the others have thought when they have read through. The interesting thing is that the folks I know well who follow my blog rarely leave comments, and they make up most of my followers. To each his own, I suppose! Hope you are getting the sunshine finally as we are!
I see what you mean, but I think sometimes silent followers are okay as well. I believe I have quite a few of silent followers.
I don't not comment because I don't want to. I want to, I really do, I just sometimes don't have something to relate to. I really enjoy following your blog... and would like to say that... I'm here!
I tend not to think too much about followers. Lots of mine share nary a word. Those who do, I follow; I also follow some who prefer to be silent, or who are too busy to come by my blog.
Along the way, I have discovered some fascinating people with amazing ideas. Those I read, and usually leave a comment. As I'm doing here. Truth be told, though, I haven't been doing much of anything lately; the move from house to apartment has been a larger challenge than I had anticipated.
Please don't leave, I'm cranky enough.
Cranky old man
I read your blog, and I have commented on occasion. I guess I blog because I like documenting the trials and tribulations. It allows me to see my own emerging themes. It allows me to reflect on whether I'm on the path I want to be on. I hope my followers enjoy the ride, but it isn't required of them. The best friends are the ones who can be absent a long time, and yet we can still pick up where we left off when we last spoke. Also, I answer every comment. Do you?
I don't think there is enough time in the day to comment on every blog, EMail etc. As a writer, I need time to observe and write. This morning I spent an hour writing part of a chapter for my next book which is far different from anything I've tackled before. What I do worry over though is no matter how many people you get in touch with at school through Friends Reunited, there are always those who aren't members or have died! I love socialising in the outside world i.e. (not through the computer) since then you speak to people about their different lives and on holiday recently met a lady who enjoys writing letters on paper - the old fashioned way so we are going to correspond. Having said that, lovely to contact people from all over the world who I wouldn't meet except through the Internet. Teaching is rewarding isn't it. I found it so when I ran a junior table tennis club. I have five copies of "Jamie" my latest poetry book which is suitable for 8 - ll year olds for the first five who can EMail me at marian.bythell@btinternet.com I will pay postage and packing. Cheers, Marian.
Gosh Rosaria, that was a stern telling off! :O)
You're right, it can be disheartening when comments don't come - fortunately I'm accustomed to it. If people read my blog then I'm happy and I know if they have read by the visitor counter. Fortunately I'm accustomed to having very few readers too :O)
One thing I do agree with you is the content of comments especially in regard to a post which poses a question, anodyne remarks really say nothing - I would rather have someone tell me I'm way out of order in my thinking.
Hello - I'm stepping out from behind my tree in this forest of life...to say hi and to let you know that for me, it is shyness that keeps me silent. That, and my inner critic, "What could I possibly have to say?", "Why would she be interested in me?"
After reading your post, though, I will be more of an active follower. And I have lots to say about both retirement and Italy:-).
Ilene in Maryland
Before I started to blog, I was a lurker. I read and I enjoyed but did not feel worthy of leaving a comment since I didn't have my own blog. Guess for that reason, I enjoy my lurkers.
Some people "follow" just to further their own blogs, hoping their picture will look interesting and clicked upon.
Others just want to let you know they acknowledge and appreciate your blog.
You have such an astounding number of "followers" that it would require a secretary to keep up with them if they all decided to comment.
That would be scary.
Thank you, all for stopping in and introducing your self.
I admit, I can't answer all these comments, but I will come over your place and visit in the near future, get to know you on your turf.
I was not scolding!
I was exhorting!
I was trying to get you out front and make a commitment to blogging.
No, I can't leave a comment every time you write a post. But, if I sign up to follow you, I will drop in regularly.
Now, as a reader and writer, isn't that what this medium does for us? Allows us to know the person beyond the writing? Isn't this a wonderful world?
How do you get me to sign up, you ask?
You just did. You came in to tell me about yourself.
I'm pleased and excited to meet you!
As for streamlining the way Blogger lets you leave a comment, I have no idea how to simplify the process.
p.s. If I offended you, I had no intention, whatsoever, to irritate anyone. The teacher in me is always setting up rules!
You certainly didn't offend - on the contrary I enjoyed this post as you made your point and didn't beat about the bush. Having come to the world of blogging some 9 months ago, I think it is a magical world indeed! Claudia
You said it. I can't add much to what you have said. I agree with you on what you had to say.
I am impressed that you follow 180 people at a time. That is commendable. I don't think I'm disciplined enough to do that.
I didn't think this was offensive at all.
Although, I must say, you did sound a bit like my mother:
"I want to know where you've been, what you did today, who you're with...
I follow, Rosaria, I follow...
:-)
oh, you brazen woman you! ha!
i've realized though that blogging is as varied as people are varied and so i allow those who never comment and i allow myself to read or peruse those i don't comment to. we are all learning from one another one way or another, not nearly the same. i've been curious of those who lurk my way. in fact, robert lurked for a year, rosaria. imagine. and one day he was brave enough to speak. (his words.) and now we drive side by side and i put my hand on his bald head, feel his heat. there are as many reasons to speak, i think, as there are to be quiet. you and i don't always know this as we're insatiable. oh yes, rosaria, we are. voyeurs through and through. hungry women. passionate. chomping at story:)
i'm glad for all of us. causes me to grow my periphery.
xo
erin
kinda ironic that my comment posts as anonymous, isn't it? blogger still being a pain:)
xo
erin again
Hi Rosaria
What an interesting post, and comments section too!
Personally, I love to visit as many blogs as I can but I have dreadful time constraints due to and must be disciplined!! Even if it's only once every 3 weeks, or a month, I will go back and read through every post so as not to miss anything.. So I might not leave a comment that regularly, but the blogs that are important to me, like this one, I definitely always read and most of all enjoy!
Bloggers do not see each other or talk on the phone daily, so cannot know what is happening in my daily life. I comment to my blog friends when I am able. I hope they will understand that something may be going on in my life when I do not comment and know that I will return when it is possible for me to do so. If that takes me off a list, then so be it. We probably weren't very loyal followers of one another to begin with.
That is an interesting post. I just went to Google Reader and counted how many blogs I follow – about 110. Then there are about 45 which I read once in a while but don’t comment on, they are cooking blogs, or blogs showing photographs with no posts, or political blogs. I keep track of who comes to my blog and try to answer but some bloggers publish posts everyday or other day and I just cannot go to all their posts – when I go to a blogger though I go back and read all the posts I missed. I travel so I get behind all the time.
I try to tell memories of my past and family but I do not say too much about my present state of mind because I am not used to speak about it. Also many people read my blog. For example I went to a retirement party last week at my previous office (I am retired since 2008.) I mentioned I just came back from a trip and 2 or 3 people told me they were sorry I had lost my luggage. I was surprised and they told me they saw it on my blog – none of them ever comment. My daughter placed a counter on my blog and since 2009 I have received, as of today, 139,283 visitors… it’s unbelievable. Many of them are from overseas though and they may not speak English, just use my translator button. I enjoy reading all my friends’ blogs as I do not have friends here in Georgia.
Nothing like hitting the nail on the head, Rosaria! Indeed, why do people sign up to follow and never turn up in conversation?
Actually, I'm pleased with my numbers...not too many people signed up to follow but I have conversations with at least one-half of them...good odds.
What was the name of that book about blogging? "Nobody wants to know what you had for lunch" or something similar. I remember when heard about it, my first thought was, "You're wrong. *I* want to know what you had for lunch... and dinner. Especially if you live some place that is not Central Ohio." If you are eating hagis, I wasn to know and see photos. Crayfish? Let me know about it.
Of course, I'd use that line of thinking to post photos of what what I was eating every once in a while. Things like poutine, I figured, would be an interesting looking dish to quite a few people.
It is hard to keep up with all the interesting blogs that one seems to keep coming across, as like you I think the interaction is an important part of the experience. I comment on so many blogs now that I long ago gave up subscribing to comments as my inbox was too overloaded! Reading blogs has become a bit like painting the Forth Bridge. I finish reading then have to start all over again.
Well, Rosaria, following can get out of control.
People follow me and never leave a comment. It's OK.
I follow people and rarely leave one, I hope it's OK.
I am fascinated by people's lives, but don't always have something to say. Those are the times I don't say anything. Perhaps it would be better just to wave and smile...is there a smiley wave?
Blessings!
Hi-thought I'd made a comment previously but it's gone so perhaps I didn't. I'm approximately 8 years from retirement, came across your blog accidently and after reading a few posts decided to follow. I know very little about blogging, looking forward to learning from those of you who do. Thank you for your honesty.
I blogged for over a year without a single follower. I had no idea how to connect with others at all. Then, someone in my writing group found me, and I followed her. Still, months passed and voila' I discovered Blog of note connection. One click later, and I began to explore the world.
So far, this is a wonderful activity like no other.
It's more rewarding than those pal letters we wrote to children in other parts of the world.
Some of you have gone to blogfests and met your followers. I haven't. First, because I live quite far from any big center. Second, I am not selling anything for which I need an audience/clientele. I just like to write/converse/share.
I do wonder what's like to live somewhere else, face different challenges.
Hope to visit you soon.
Thanks for stopping by.
I marvel you follow 180 blogs or anything.
If I drop by, I comment even if it is just hello. My visits to all I follow, has become less as my schedule is filled with physician appts and computer down time.
Today i am sitting here with dark glasses, trying to type on an old computer, since my more comfortable one is in computer hospital for wireless network adapter correction. Dark glaasses: cataract surgery DAY 2.
I don't opinionate on religion or politics in response, as I feel these topics are destructive, especially in print when you don't know the totatl person. I have personal friends on opposite sides of the spectrum from me, but I them face to face.
I may agree of disagee on-line and my second resolve if I cannot say at least a positive word, Hello and have a nice day, is much more polite.
Again, I say hello. I rarely lurk.
I've never used the Followers gadget to follow others and have only put on my page when a few folks requested that I make it visible. I do follow you and many others vis Google Reader, which I suppose is a lurking device of sorts... but I do try to comment now and then.
I also never have all that much to say on my blog.. at least in words. But I do enjoy sharing photos, and I let them speak for me.
Oh...blogging without obligation. Google Reader only lets me follow 300 blogs (75 human/225 pet) so I weed it down when I find a new blog, I delete one that is less inspiring to me. I never catch up commenting but just keep thinking that I might when I retire, hahameow.
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