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Monday, December 8, 2014

Time and regrets.

My young nephew and niece in this photograph taken in 1970 have just recently gotten in touch with me. Actually, a son of the boy began to research, found my memoir blog and got in touch with me, someone he had never met, someone his father had met only once.

In this picture he sent me, I'm twenty seven years old returning to my homeland after an absence of ten years, all grown up, married and with a two-year old in tow, Pictured here are my nephew and niece, children of my eldest brother.

My niece and nephew, now in their fifties and forties, look today just as they did back then.

I, on the other hand am unrecognizable. I notice how much better looking I was back then! Why didn't I know that at that time? I only remember that I worried about my figure, my clothes, my lack of time, my lack of resources...

Do you feel that way looking back?
That somehow you were better looking and even happier than you remember you were?
That your life was more exciting and fulfilling than you thought it was at that time?

There I sat for this photo, preoccupied, in my own world, while the children, especially little Laura was so eager to accept me. I wish I had kept up with them after that visit; I wish my own children could have communicated across the ocean with their cousins.

Truth is that regrets come with age and usually too late for making amends.
Yet, while I have time on this earth I shall remind everyone of the following things:

1. You are most critical of yourself when you are young. Looking ahead, you'll appreciate yourself more.

2. Keep in touch with your loved ones; they are the ones who put their arms around you right away and are willing to take you in regardless of your worth.

May your holidays be with family and loved ones.



17 comments:

Marty Damon said...

I agree. I was entirely too critical of my appearance when I was young, always a little dissatisfied. Now I look back at those pictures and think, "Wow! My husband was lucky to get me!"

LindyLou Mac said...

How lovely that you are now back in touch, thanks to the modern world!

Hilary said...

Fine advice and yes, it's so true that we look back and see ourselves as so much better in certain ways. Whatever our age currently, we might look back see this time as that better time also.

Suz said...

oh only one cure for regret....make no more regret....stay in touch with this blessed family rediscovered....one looks because one needs.....be that connection to their heritage and family
I feel such joy for you
I shed tears over this post

Amanda Summer said...

What a beautiful photo. May the same blessings be yours for the holidays Rosaria ♡

troutbirder said...

Tis true. I look back on those days with much happiness and also the what ifs and regrets. Having lost a child when he was 28 can do that...8

Vagabonde said...

It is true when looking back I think now that I look nicer that I thought then – or it could be that now I don’t care as much as I am a lot more relax about it all. When you are younger you don’t think that you will lose contact with some family members and regret it later. My father had a first cousin in Paris, an Armenian of course, and he had two sons. They have family now but I don’t know their address and when I am back in France I would love to have some family to visit. My father also had some cousins in Istanbul, Turkey, who we visited when I was a young child. I don’t have their address either, but they still live there and when we visited Istanbul a couple of years ago, I would have really enjoyed seeing them – but that’s life I guess. At least, because of my blog I found an old friend from San Francisco a while back that I had not communicated with in 40 years. The web is amazing.

Velva said...

Love these kind of posts! You are absolutely right, we have a tendency not to ever be happy with how we look. We are our own worst critic. I this is more common with women.

Velva

Helen said...

I seldom think back to those (what I thought were) the good old days ~ at least in terms of how I might have looked, etc. The fact that I had delivered three boys by the time I was ready to turn 21 no doubt impacted my thoughts, behavior. My family is close knit and all in America, I am blessed. AND, best of all I meet Tom, my grandson at Christmas.

Grandmother (Mary) said...

As women I think we're always critical of our appearance, a shame really since you were so good looking in that photo and still are. I share your realization of the importance of staying in touch with family.
p.s. Why have the dreaded word verification step if you have comment moderation?

Tom Sightings said...

You are absolutely right about both 1. and 2. So may your holidays, too, be happy, with as many of your good-looking young family as possible.

UIFPW08 said...

Bellissimi ricordi Ciao Rosaria

Becky Jerdee said...

Thank you for the lovely holiday thoughts...I would say I was critical of myself in younger days but by the time I hit my fifties, I began to appreciate my healthy, slender, and active body and whatever beauty I possessed. I'm thankful for that. Now I'm back to critical again but have brief moments of approval. But EVERYONE still smiles at me!!!

Brian Miller said...

one of my favorite parts of this time of year is getting to see family that i have not seen in a while...i am glad that they go tin touch with you...that is very cool...

ellen abbott said...

so nice that the younger generation found you and reached out. I look at pictures of myself when I was young and yes, think how good looking we all were then. not happier maybe but definitely good looking.

Maggie May said...

Yes, you are absolutely right. Seems like I wasted a lot of time worrying and criticising myself when I was younger and I now realise that I had a lot going for me then!
Good to keep in touch with family though.
Maggie x

erin said...

what a joy to see you like this, rosaria:) see how your blouse puckers just a little? ah, your youth screamed to be seen:)))!

nostalgia is something to be careful of. how easily we rewrite yesterday into perfection. it's all good, instead, the beautiful life then and now, the beautiful woman then and now.

it is true that naivité is always at risk of being destroyed. funnily enough, it is then reborn in the new yesterday.

xo
erin