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Sunday, May 6, 2012

Making a dream.


(my apologies for not knowing where this photo comes from!)

I'm in  a state of anticipation.

Getting serious about gardening/landscaping means putting up with destruction as well as construction. So far, I'm happy with movement, any movement. People with big machines have cut down trees, removed them, left big trench marks on wet soil. They'll be clearing more land, grading the driveway, constructing arbors and benches.

The deer are lost and disoriented. Newkie, my cat, is keeping her distance. She doesn't like noise. So, she hides from everybody, and changes her hiding place so I can't find her right away.  She has been hesitant to go off beyond the immediate perimeter. Now, this perimeter is being opened up and reshaped with much fanfare, and she is dismayed.

But I am not worried. I'm building an autobiography right in my yard. Traces of me all over the place with everything I choose, every rock I position.

This work would have been done slowly by the two of us, just a few years ago. I'd decide on something or other. Hubby would try to talk me out of it. I'd insist. He'd balk. Finally, I would find something that we could compromise on. Frankly, it would never be just what I had had in mind. And so it would continue for each small or big project.

But we are in a new state now. We have become fragile. We no longer try to do things ourselves. We call experts, and we negotiate with them what is possible; compromise if it is too expensive and elaborate; try to do what is doable and still  live up to our overall vision.

Did I say Our Vision?
I meant My Vision.
Though, it is newly retouched, by everyone we talk to, even my loving husband who insists on interpreting my thoughts to the men with machines. I've learned to put my foot down when I need to.

Before we even had this project, we had talked ourselves out of another that included a swim in place pool, a necessity we both could appreciate.  Hubby had other priorities at that time, visioning changes that would have transformed the garage into a pool room. He called people, consulted, received estimates, and then balked at the cost and the possible liability of the project.  It turns out that a pool needs to be in its own building, so the fumes and the humidity do not affect the rest of the house.  A pool room would have cost us more than the cost of driving down to Gold Beach where we swim in a hotel pool for peanuts a day, with no liabilities and no maintenance.

 When a noted landscaper showed up and prepared an estimate to upgrade our front yard, we had already gone into shock a few times before. Hubby knows he and I cannot do any of this work any more. What we can do is get the place in good shape to age in place for the next ten or so years.

Our children will love to vacation on this coast after we leave this earth. Here, they can bring little ones and big ones and truly appreciate the great outdoors. By then, they will have forgotten what the place looked like before the upgrades. Lucky them!


21 comments:

Maggie May said...

It will be lovely when it is finished and I hope hope you get many years of pleasure from it yourselves..... as well as the children.
It is a bit frustrating not to be able to do things for ourselves, but the wise person knows his/her limitations.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Patricia said...

How invigorating...to be starting a new project! When we remodeled our kitchen I learned that is nothing you cannot do if you are handy with....a checkbook! Take pictures and share the progress with us.

A Seasonal Cook in Turkey said...

Hi Rosaria, I haven't been around for a long time for various reasons. But I read your post and liked it very much: this is life, we move on and as we do, so each stage seems right. I am sure everything will work out just perfectly.

becky said...

Exciting days ahead as changes get made...at our house last winter, we rennovated two bathrooms, repiped the house, redecorated the living room and resided the lanai...busy, busy, busy...but we did NONE of the work ourselves. Much smarter to have it done by professionals...:)

Joani said...

I love it. I know that sometimes change is hard but it just sounds wonderful that you are getting this done. I can't wait to see the pictures. Thanks for sharing.

The Broad said...

I love it that you know what you can and cannot do, but that even so, you are still able to let your wishes known. This new landscape will do wonders for your soul, I am sure.

Brian Miller said...

good on you for knowing what you want and making sure it happens...how cool will it be when it is done...cant wait to see....

Perpetua said...

Oh how exciting, Rosaria! My husband and i are getting to the stage where we have to get others to do the really heavy work, but we still love the planning and finishing. All good wishes for the completion of your project.

JeannetteLS said...

Sounds just wonderful. I envy you the swim in place pool! I made the mistake of driving by the house I sold last year. My flower gardens are gone. Entirely gone. The twenty years of peonies, iris, peony trees, daisies. Gone without a trace.

I was shocked. Upset a little. Then I remembered that this place is not mine any more. I have moved on, started a brand new life. We all make our marks, kind of like animals, perhaps. Marking our territories, creating home. This is a wonderful entry about the phases of our lives, I think. Facing realities--sometimes gentle, sometimes a tad harsh.

You will create your haven, the two of you, whether or not you create it with your hands.

It's an adventure, this life, even when it is terrifying. When we come through to the next part, BAM. Off we go into something new.

You are a blessing to we who read about your life. So there.

JeannetteLS said...

To us. Not to we. We who read your blog are blessed? UGH. My mother and father, grammarians both, are coming screaming at me! YOU know what I mean...

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

So exciting to be planning a garden uniquely your own, Rosaria, even if the actual work will be done by others.

I know what you mean about building a yard project by project. Bob and I did that -- sometimes ourselves and sometimes with professional help -- in the yard of our California home over the years and that very special garden is what I miss most about our old home. Here, we had everything put in professionally, recognizing our limitations physically, as you and your husband are realizing.

Sounds like you made a wise decision about that pool. And I'm sure that your children and grandchildren will treasure your place for many reasons, but most of all because it means visiting you now and remembering you later on.

Retired English Teacher said...

I hear ya. I carry my vision for my yard in my head. My husband has no idea what it looks like and forgets to consult me when we have workers there to do the work. We no longer can do things I wanted done. Having others do the work is expensive and frustrating because they don't always care to participate in your vision.

Remodeling anything is certainly a process. I know that for sure. I have done lots of that on this place. The place I am now trying to sell. In the end, I am sure it will work out well for you. I think it is what gets up in the morning. We must continue to bring our visions for the future into fruition.

cloudia charters said...

"Auto-bio in my yard"


I Love that!


> < } } (°>


Warm Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

> < } } (°>

the walking man said...

"Did I say Our Vision?
I meant My Vision."

Ah yes I do so know what this means, now Ii just nod my head. I have come to think of myself as a bobble head for all the nodding I do.

Wife: "I want to do..."
Walking man "OK" nods head.

At least it gives us poor husbands the illusion of having an opinion worth listening to, but oh we learned early on to nod and be silent.

erin said...

this says it all, I'm building an autobiography right in my yard. i smile with you fondly at this as though we are standing and watching the deer, the stones, your newly designed yard. (isn't this what we are all always doing?)

xo
erin

Jane Gaston said...

Ah, resculpting an entire yard(s) is heaven Rosaria, whether you're doing the work yourself or hiring someone to interpret your vision. Can't wait to see what you both come up with.

yaya said...

I know you will love this project when it's done and have many good years to enjoy it. How fun for your children to enjoy it now and in the future. I think not having a pool is a good idea..way too much maintenance. Hope all goes well! Can't wait to see the finished product!

Diana said...

Exciting and big....I look around our yard and dream a lot, then do what little I can these days:-) My cats hate these kinds of changes, but they adapt

Diana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rosaria williams said...

Thanks, everyone.

Grandmother said...

A garden is a great autobiography.