A bike ride, an empty street, a lovely view ahead. This is what you wanted in life. You are a character in your own own movie and you control every move.
Everything you feel is pregnant with possibilities.
You're strong.
You're successful.
You are loved.
You can do anything you set your mind to do.
All the days ahead, all the paths ahead are your future perfect.
Is this how you feel every day?
Some days?
What happens the rest of the time?
Do you feel you're in the wrong place, the wrong time?
You are not smart enough, or cool enough to be here?
What if everyone had ridiculed you?
What if your basic needs were denied?
What if parts of your body, functions of your body were denied appropriate care?
What would you do?
26 comments:
well, sometimes
But mostly I go with the flow
and trust and notice the moments
and my bike is gathering dust
not sure I will get on it this year...
I would like to make a movie of my dreams.
i lived without insurance for 5 years...so i know a bit about toughing it out in that dep but it def can be tough in some of that last part....life does not always give you what you want but you make with what you have...
i do feel (mostly) that every day is pregnant with possibility. i am strong but i am vulnerable, too. i am not successful in the way others would think of success but i work toward my own definition of success, being alive and aware and grateful. i am loved. i love. i can not do anything i set my mind to, but some things i can. today is not perfect, nor will tomorrow be, but i do not want perfect. perfect is bullshit:)
life is the supreme opportunity.
but sometimes i am so scarred and faulty i want to die. this passes and then how grateful i am for the new opportunities.
as for all the rest, always - all we can do is our best.
xo
erin
Your first two paragraphs describe a person I do dream of being once again - and how I used to feel before becoming tied to the full-time caregiving of an older spouse. However, though I no longer have that wonderful sense of freedom, I do have other consolations, one of which is that I am finally learning to live in the present moment, rather than simply aspiring to some rosier future.
important questions. Do you have an advance directive?
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
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The only thing left to do, the thing I have been forced to do so many times--learn the why and then adapt , get back up on the bike and ride.Maybe a little more cautiously but riding is really the only one of two paths offered in the scenario presented. and i am no where near ready to clean a pistol with my mouth...people would whisper "it really wasn't an accident" and I do so much dislike gossips.
I do not feel my entire life is ahead at my age. The future is an unknown but I do not dwell on negative possibilities which seem a probability
I still am confident I can do most anything I dream, but may need help. Some of the possibilities you mentioned are in past tense, some present tense. I am loved, in diffeent degrees by different people.
In the what ifs section none truly apply but the last one, I feel it and #1 may be related, at lesst in my case. There are moment with my health issues I begin looking elsewhere.
Thoughtful essay.
I've fallen off my bike more than a few times .. scrapes, bruises and a little blood ~ literally and figuratively. Great post, Rosaria.
Oh, I know that bike feeling...been there, done that but now I'm a bit unable to keep a bike handy...but I'm thinking about getting one. A PINK or turquoise one.
Yes, being in the wrong place at the wrong time...comes with aging...not sure how to get 'er done.
My bike has been gathering dust for years. I should think that it feels as if it is in the wrong place.
I never learned how to ride a bike & I don't think now is the time to begin....polio got in the way.
I'm trying to live in the moment & enjoy the things that are at hand and I'm able to laugh, love, and be thankful.
Thank you for bringing this up.
There are days, especially here recently, that I swear to God I must be in an alternate universe....Those are the days that if I had a bike I might never come back!
Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong time; I'm betting I'm not the only one. However, I try to grab the good times with both hands and hold them close.
Shannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z
Wonderful post, Rosaria! There's nothing like the feeling of freedom and endless possibilities when you're riding a bike on a fine day! Thanks for the reminder that, even (or especially) as we age, our lives are full of options and surprises.
Anyone out there feeling like you never quite were in control of your life, someone always had other expectations, opposite ideas, a different path for you. As the pleasing and modest person you were, you felt obliged to be pliant and compliant.
Future perfect? The perfectionist within latches on to that one immediately. Unfortunately, tedious perfectionism is bound to kill courage, to disappoint, to wear out; the concentration on detail starts blurring and blocking out the bigger picture (what if it were not picture-perfect?!)
There comes a time you just want, next to health, peace, quiet, no upheavals, the kids being okay and at peace, too. That's happiness. Sounds boring? Maybe I'll throw in a little trip now and then.
I'm quite jealous now of the things I used to be!
I look at old pictures, and I think: Life was good!!!
Thanks for the visit and the insights. Much wisdom shared here.
My way of dealing with things has certainly improved during my time in India. I roll with the punches more easily, appreciate what I have and don't expect as much. My four months here is soon over and I am already hoping to be back, sooner than later. I know that, physically, I cannot travel so easily so I want to absorb as much as possible while I can.
My legs are getting ready to get on my bike this summer. I believe in terrorizing the neighborhood at every possibility.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong space. So I try to correct the situation. Sometimes I succeed in making a change.
Unmet needs mean I do without. Unless I can engineer a change -- in my life, or in my thinking.
I was knocked off my bike by a car on a busy road and woke up being loaded into an ambulance strapped on a board with a neck brace as well. Plus two days in hospital and a two day concussion that made me sick & giddy for ages afterwards. So I felt quite justified getting rid of the bike, which had a lot of damage done to it anyway.
Looks good on the picture though and I do remember the freedom of it before the accident.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Great post! I love riding my bike and ride daily. And on most days, I feel as you describe in the first paragraph. Life is good!
And I also finally figured out whay I couldn't comment on your blogs.Yay! It will let me on Explorer, but not on Firefox. :)
Wow, very insightful post. The first two paragraphs were in a completely different place than the last two. I felt joy at first, reading your post, then by the end I felt utter gratitude for the blessings I take for granted and compassion towards those not as lucky to be as mobile as I am.
Thanks for a great perspective, Rosaria.
Hi Rosaria. Hope all is well with you - I've been away so long, but good to be back! I like the aspect of the peaceful street, with the positive feel, where everything is under control...
Also enjoyed earlier posts, especially the previous one!
At this point in my life I feel wonderful almost every day. There is always something (some little thing) to celebrate.
But... I have a friend who has landed in the "rest of the time". Her health has deteriorated, her basic needs are not being met, and her body is failing her. It is very sad, difficult to watch, and little I can do to help.
Poignant post.
I loved your post, even if it's tinged with sadness. I take so many things for granted that when one of them is mising, I feel at a loss. That's why for the last fifteen years or so, I've realised that the human trait we should covet the most is empathy. And yet, there's a dearth of it around.
Thanks for your post. And your questions.
Greetings from London.
I do that when I feel bad. I hop on my bike and just roam the city. My head clears up and everything seem to get fixed,
greeting from London inventory
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