Thursday, March 8, 2012

International Day of the Woman.

At the moment, I don't know that my husband knows about this holiday. He's still sleeping, and breakfast, prepared by this woman, is waiting for him on his side table. It's a reminder that breakfast is to be eaten in the morning, as soon as he wakes.

Before a man is even awake, a woman has been at work making his life easier and richer.

Left to his own rhythm, he'd forget to eat until too hungry, too grouchy and too low in blood sugar. This woman makes sure that his diet is optimal, from a balanced breakfast of cottage cheese and fruit, to a salad and fish for lunch, nuts for snacks, soup and sandwich for dinner and a dessert of fruit and cheese, preferably eaten before seven, his food intake is carefully selected to his specifications.  Somebody is watching out for him!

If he's left to forage when  his own hunger pangs are felt, he'd rely on some canned meat,  sugary drinks, and any leftover he can find.

He sleeps on soft pillows and strong mattress, both chosen carefully by this woman.
In the closet, his clothes are organized by season and colors. He could take any shirt, any pants he wants. all coordinated and sized to his specifications.  They appear and reappear magically in the same closet, without any fanfare.

Between his bed and his bathroom there are night lights, soft guides, so he can move about in the night without bumping into anything.

Hopefully, his appreciation for all the little and big things in his life influenced directly or indirectly by this woman or any other woman, this appreciation will result in strong opinions about the worth of any human being, the respect for labors and services that we take for granted, the appreciation that everyone of us, man or woman, contributes valuable services to the community.

Without this appreciation, respect, and recognition, women will continue to be taken for granted, their services will be undervalued, their contributions relegated to second class.

I wonder: would we need a day to celebrate,  if there was equality and respect and equality of compensation for the work that women do?

I'm not even talking about the work force!
Opportunities, education, equal pay, and respect: these are  things  every human needs.


Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

Wow! You do take wonderful care of your dear husband! I think that even the most appreciative of men doesn't ever really know all his wife does when life runs smoothly.

My husband and I consider ourselves equal partners and do housework and meal preparation together. However, when I was out of commission for a couple of days, I could hear him in a panic once or twice. I handle our social calendar and our finances -- and suddenly, he didn't have a clue!

Like you, I do suspect that an appreciation day for women would not be necessary if women enjoyed respect and appreciation on a daily basis!

joeh said...

Damn...It's good to be KING!

Happy Doy of the woman

Cranky Old Man

Brian Miller said...

happy womans day....where would we be without you? i for one would rather not know...hard questions there at the end...maybe soon we will have a lower class know...smiles

Vera said...

Oh this hit a nerve. I think that the role of a woman is a difficult one, what with having to balance their own needs with that of their man and their family. And I am in awe of the way in which you look after your man. On a scale of one to ten, you must be at least at number nine. And me? Well I would put myself around minus 2, with a 'Could do better' attached! And how on earth do you get your man to eat such healthy foods. My man would start complaining if I tried to do the same, or else sidle off to the kitchen to do a raid when I wasn't looking, or even take himself off to the nearest supermarket to stock up on a stash of unhealthy nibbles! Obviously my training of him is sorely lacking!

Roberta said...

I think this is a generational thing. My generation in general doesn't do that taking care of man thing too well. My man is on his own. Don't want to eat my veggies, make yourself something else.

We share the chores. He does laundry, and grocery shopping. I do cooking and house cleaning. I hate laundry and he hates cooking so that works out for the most part.

The Broad said...

Rosaria! My mind is boggling absolutely b-o-g-g-l-i-n-g!!! I may need to lie down and try to recover ... ;-)

Food, Fun and Life in the Charente said...

Rosaria I am all for the comment by The Broad. The mind boggles.
Now we are retired everything is done together, I refuse to run the house and do all the garden as well. When he was at work all day it was a different story. I have only just discovered that it was International Woman's Day and it is now time to go to bed!! Diane

Perpetua said...

I'm with The Broad in having a mind that boggles at this degree of care. I do most of the cooking in our household, but my DH always makes the porridge we have for breakfast and brings it to me. He's a hungry soul and I can't imagine him ever forgetting to eat. :-)

He is so not a clothes person and the few he has are definitely looked after by me or they'd be in a crumpled heap on the bedroom chair most of the time. In addition to the cooking I do most of the housework, but he does the finances, the cars and the house maintenance, so it's a pretty equal division of labour. He certainly doesn't seem to take my contribution for granted - luckily for him. ;-)

amalia said...

hallo Rosaria good happy day of the woman

yaya said...

Oregon has just named you "Woman of the Year"...your prize should arrive shortly! P.S...I'm am not showing this post to my Hubby...God love him, but ignorance is bliss. Love you Rosaria!

Phoenix said...

Such a poignant post - so thoughtful and sweet, the way you detail the many things you do for your husband - out of love, of course - and then bring it smartly back to, if women were treated and paid equally, would we need a day to set aside for them? I think not.

I saw on someone's FB post that they asked everyone what they were doing to celebrate International Women's Day, and someone (a guy, naturally) came back with, "When is International Men's Day?" And I so wanted to write, "Every single other day of the year, kid", but felt it wouldn't really go over well.

Oh well. There are some people in this world that you simply cannot convince that women are not considered, nor treated equal. Sad and frustrating as it might be.

Posts like yours make me smile and give me hope. :)

becky said...

Holy Cow, Rosaria!! You are, indeed, WOMAN OF THE YEAR! Such great care you take of your treasured mate! He is a lucky duck!!
My beloved and I are partners in retirement...we divide the chores equally and, if he's feeling a bit worried about what he's put on, I'll happily advise...after all, he recognizes that I'm the one with good taste :) He irons, mows the lawn, takes out the garbage, does the nasty yardwork, washes the car, and chooses for himself from the dishes I produce and store in the refrigerator. If he wants to lose weight, he's responsible to himself, not me.

becky said...

P. S. He cleans the toilets while I scrub the tubs. :)

Rob-bear said...

Women still do these things in some places? Who would have known?

Anyhow, women make important contributions to the workforce, the community, the home. Their contributions are under-recognized at the very least. I'm glad we have a day for recognizing women. Too bad it's only one day.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. as Kathy says. Thankfully some men realise what we do .. not all granted - and of course they can't see this side of the fence.

Though Kathy says again .. her hubby quietly panicked doing it all .. my uncle after my aunt's death (he nursed her until she was able to die in peace at home) .. said he realised how 'difficult' it was living on your own .. as I do - once he'd had time to reflect back - but he respected women. Lovely man.

Enjoy your weekend together .. togetherness is the thing isn't it - with love being the all .. cheers Hilary

Nance said...

This quiet little essay needs to be read beside the (righteously) angry pieces coming out these days from women in response to the GOP's jerkfest; it completes the picture.

Well done.

Maggie May said...

I think our generation are the last to run round their men folk as modern men have to muck in and do their own chores.
I personally think that it is much better for men to be able to look after themselves because none of us know who is going to be the one who will be left.

Maggie X

Nuts in May

Joani said...

OMG! When do you have time for yourself? In my household, I have housekeepers once a month....if I'm working & he's not & he doesn't like housework, we'll hire someone. I get my own breakfast as well as he gets his own breakfast. He figures out lunch and I figure out dinner. He does his laundry & I do mine. He wears wrangler jeans & wrangler shirts...most of the time they go to the dry cleaners. I wear jeans as well with tees....jeans go to the dry cleaners.

Well said though....I see where they are trying to not let some people vote with out certain picture identification....another way to disembark women's rights. It took us so long to get here & now the MAN is trying to undo it again.

Thanks for sharing.

shopgirl said...

I actually never heard of this holiday until I came to Italy. I read about its history and it actually started here!

When I read what you write I think about how much my father received from my mother and yet, he gave so little back. I hope your husband realizes how wonderful you are.

p.s. it has been 18 months since I've last been home and counting! .-)))

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

I am sure he appreciates every little thing you do for him Rosaria.

Linda Myers said...

Your husband is a lucky man. I hope he knows it.

We have a housekeeper every other week. I do the laundry, the finances, and the social planning. He does the grocery shopping and cooking, fixing and most of the yard.

I like that each of us does what we like and are good at.

Cheryl Cato said...

Great post Rosaria. It amazes me that after all these years of struggling to make our worth be known and appreciated there are still men who what to make decisions for us about our health care. Don't they know that we can make those decisions for ourselves; that we don't need men to decide what is right for us?
Somehow I got a little side-tracked from the purpose of your post, but obviously we can make our own decisions!

NitWit1 said...

We all coddle our husband in different ways. I try to cook what he likes but his refusal to wear this 4th set of denturea makes it dreary to cook creatively.

But I keep trying little things. His clothing choices are not mine but keeping the clean is. Except I liberated myself from ironing. I inform him to please read labels and not buy dry clean only or 100% cotton products.

I worked to help with income, despite that even in younger years I had asthma and COPD because of workforce exposure and my husband's 2nd hand smoke. Husband now smokes outside and not in any vehicle I ride in; but damage has already been done.

However, he also helps me. Life is a DUKE's Mixture anyway.

A Cuban In London said...

First of all, may I wish a happy International Women's Day! Secondly, that was a powerful post, written from a personal perspective but with a universal meaning. And I say that as a bloke myself, who lived with four women (and my dad).

Thirdly, thanks for your brief but heartfelt comment on my blog. I know what you went through recently and I have no words with which to say how much I'm sorry about it.

Thank you for your presence. Even if it's only online.

Hilary said...

Wonderfully put, Rosaria. So, after that day got underway, did he become aware? :)

puneet said...

we try to follow that we should do same for you always but we have got it in our legacy it will take time..wishes