Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A new start in late Autumn.
Some things never change; some things are constantly changing. The sun, the ocean, the mountains appear permanent and fixed compared to the lives of crabs, birds, insects, man. While everything around us was turning inside out and upside down, all of which was most welcome, we were changing in ways neither of us had predicted. The "us" were my husband and I, married 43 years, almost divorced a dozen times. We found ourselves playing at the Ocean as the girls in this picture, with abandon and joy, feeling as though we just met, late January 1966.
With each major change in our lives, we had been bruised badly. We blamed the world and each other. Silently. I even had a few escape clauses in my pocket. If I divorced, I would move back to Italy with the children, find a job, save like heck to send them back to visit their father, and would worry. Worry that they would miss their father, their culture and their language so much that they would choose to live with him. I would then grow old and bitter and blame myself for everything.
These thoughts were present after each argument, after each misunderstanding.
After forty years, arguments bruise less and less. We learn to predict when the other is too tired, or too worried. We learn to stay out of the wind and the rain whenever possible. We give in to the other's need even when our need is all we could feel.
The need to be together became stronger than the need to be right.
This new stage of life in retirement had its own brand of challenges. We were about to learn more about each other, more about habits.
Mostly, we rediscovered Joy.
...stay tuned...more to follow... joy, pleasure, cooking from scratch........................