Things have changed during two decades or so.
So, to help you avoid many mistakes, here are my new observations:
1. Don't post pictures of your new grandchild without permission from the parents, even if you took those pictures.
2. Don't start showing off pictures of your grandchild at a party; unless, someone asks.
3. Don't tell the new parents what was the 'right" thing to do in your days. Medical science has grown faster than you know.
4. Accept what the parents are doing as they are the ones who are responsible for that child even after you've left this earth.
5. Don't buy stuff for the child without consulting with the parents. Even toys.
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18 comments:
How very sensible your advice is. Some of it is just good manners but I am sad about the buying toys thing. What’s a grandma to do?
Oh yes. I follow the parents' rules at all times. I remember my mother giving far too many sweets to my children, however much I asked her not to. I was never allowed sweets as a child, to add injury to insult! But it taught me a lesson for when I became a grandma.
Excellent advise!
I follow those rules too. My best rule is "have your grandchildren come to visit without their parents".
All very wise. I only have to think back to my own parenting days and how the grandparents usually respected those boundaries.. but sometimes not.
The hardest one of all is not to show photos! Its easy to bore the pants off people but grandchildren are so gorgeous and its because we are so proud of them!
Of course we view our grandchildren through *rosy spectacles*!
Maggie x
Nuts in May
words of wisdom, as usual, Rosaria!
I've come back to blogging on a limited basis. That is, limited to those blogging friends I don't want to lose touch with. You're one of these. Good post. As a grandmother myself, I agree with you. There's much wisdom here, and wisdom is supposed to be our big thing as we get older....right?!
With 9 grandkids I've learned the rules and made a few no-nos! It gets a bit trickier when there's a divorce and your dealing with the ex. But spending time with those sweeties is worth learning those rules!
Very wise advice, Rosaria: simple and to the point. I can think of so many uneasy moments friends would have been spared had they had such tips to follow!
Well you just knocked all my plans out the window. I never got the chance to grandparent my first one 14 years ago...Monday my 2nd will be born. And of the kids follow their plans with my son leaving for China on 4 months of business and my DiL staying with her friends the kid may be 2 or 3 before I even lay eyes on him. Oh well at least we'll share a birthday. wonder if he'll remember me when i am gone?
I am a new grandma. Those are hard rules, but I think I am following them. Gladly, they let us post tons of pictures.
Fondly,
Glenda
At Christmas and on birthdays, I get my daughter and my DIL to give me a list of toys the kids might like and choose from those. Seems to work well.
sensible but where's the fun in that. OK, I agree, they are good rules. My youngest grandchild is 13 and they all come to visit together and singly sans parents.
Sensible lady.
These roles seem to boil down to:
Be wise
Don't be a bore
Don't be a buttinski
ha. your rules are sound...it is so hard to not show off those pictures though...or dispense with our advice...lol....
We could have used that information about ten years ago. But better late than never.
Blessings and Bear hugs, Rosaria!
Lots of don't there but we've learned the hard way. Even considering our grands mother is an arrogant Dr. of Child Psychology (really) and knows all the "research" to back her never lacking in common sense opinions. Hah!
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