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Monday, March 17, 2014

When do you know it's time?

I've been aware of certain signs, the currents and moods
of each circumstance that separates me from the mainstream of life.
It started a few years ago, after my son died, when I began to have trouble clearing my
thoughts enough to stay on topic.

I thought that was a good time to quit.

I started another blog; and yet another. But, I stopped writing my personal pieces.
I joined a new organization and waited to see if my life turned around, if my own circumstances
were ready for a change. Daily, thoughts of quitting bubbled up at inopportune times, as right at this moment when instead of taking a photo of the beautiful walking path in Eugene by the Willamette River, I took a selfie.  Disgusted with my lack of abilities, I turned off the camera and buried it in my pocket.

I used to love taking pictures and talking about my world.
I used to love writing about everything.

How do we know when to move on?


20 comments:

Rian said...

I don't know the answer to your question. But when it pertained to work... I always knew that it was time to move on when I realized that I no longer enjoyed the work. That may sound shallow, but I only had 3 jobs in my 69 years. But if you're talking about aging and losing interest... that's a scary thing.

Snap-Smith Photography said...

There's always the possibility that you are moving on...just not in the way you have been most familiar with. Perhaps you're connecting with many more people with your 'selfies' and intimate thoughts and feelings than you're giving yourself credit for, Rosaria. Not many can do that well and I, personally, think what you do do, is wonderfully important...........Hugs to you.

Boodhooram Ignoramus said...

900 hundred people like to follow you. perhaps many more find succour from your posts. allow my foolish comment 'to stay on topic' is a good idea but to stray around topics isn't bad either. deaths (of near ones) are testing times. we all are lucky to be goner some day . till then i agree we 'don't know answers' to many questions. let us enjoy the quests. -- Ignoramus

joeh said...

I would like to see pictures of that walk and the river.

yaya said...

A selfie is a good thing Rosaria. When I look at that shot I see a lovely woman who has lived a full life with all the expectations and joy and hope for the future after working hard for many years. I see a woman who has been through hell and back. The loss of a child is not something that anyone ever gets over..watching my sister go through it showed me that. But life does go on and I think you have so much to enjoy and discover. Maybe a stop at the Dr. office for a good checkup and voicing concerns about how you feel is needed. If you're talking about not blogging..that's one thing. If you're talking about life...that's a big thing. Hang in there....you are loved.

Kerry said...

I only began to read your blog after your son's death, so I have nothing to compare. But I was thinking recently about your ability to cope with that loss, and how strong you've been. Maybe you don't feel strong, but you are. The seasons change and we do move along with them, however slowly or imperceptibly.

Helen said...

Dear Rosaria,

I cannot share the details in my comment, but recently I learned news that literally alters my life and the lives of family members I hold dear in my heart. I,too am having problems concentrating, I've lost the enthusiasm I once had for meeting writing challenges. I've tried .. nothing I write has relevance, meaning. I've simply run out of steam. I have committed to creating two challenges next month for Imaginary Gardens, which I had begun working on weeks ago .. Beyond that, I don't know.

I do understand how you are feeling. Take care,
Helen

Linda Myers said...

I'd say it's time to move on to something else when the old isn't interesting any more. Or when physical limitations prevent. I used to do volkssmarch - 10k walks on the weekend. Now I walk a couple of miles in my neighborhood four times a week. That's more comfortable to me now.

I notice my husband is walking more slowly than he did before his cardiac arrest eight weeks ago. Is he deciding to slow down out of fear, disinterest, or something else?

Rubye Jack said...

Perhaps we move on when we find something better, something different, or have a feeling we are being called to a new world. It is hard to look at one's self and know what to do at times but I think the more we look, the more comfortable we become in life. At times I want to give up, give in and succumb to death as I feel too bored or full of pain to continue on. However, so far, time has brought back renewed interest and hope. Or maybe it is as simple as examining when it is time to quit writing a blog or when to move on from the country to the city and start a new way of living. I like to think when it is truly time, I will know in my heart. Whatever it may be.

Brian Miller said...

it is hard.
life is hard.
things happen and we dont understand them. and we dont know how to move on beyond that moment. it takes time. it will be the first thing we think when we wake for the longest time. and sometimes we let go of things that were once important. and hopefully one day we pick them back up. we see beauty again. we take a pic. we write. because in doing so we honor them. and we we honor what we have left as well.

hugs.

Hilary said...

Everyone grieves in their own way and heals in their own time. I think you're amazingly strong, Rosaria. If you feel you're not where you need to be, or not feeling the interest in what you ordinarily love, you might want to ask for help. We can all use that from time to time. Hugs to you.

erin said...

in terms of blogging, rosaria - it's a long and personal question, isn't it? it does seem to me that there is an arc that we all travel along. (it's interesting to see how we have been motivated, changed and then moved away - hopefully more deeply into our lives.) i suppose the real answer is we leave when we no longer find value in blogging; that is the time to move from this form, at least. i suppose that is the only real answer. but the door need not be closed. and certainly there are other doors to be opened.

(but never lose touch completely)))

xo
erin

Becky Jerdee said...

Quitting what? Habits? Activities?
This post leaves me with more questions than responses and I have no clear way to make a comment. However, I can feel your pain...

If you're talking about blog burnout, let it rest for awhile. I've been torn up about blogging...shifting back and forth about when to quit. I like the dimension blogging adds to my days but find that I've burned out when it comes to producing anything...I've been printing out the years in book form to make a record in case I eventually decide to quit and delete everything. Many times, I'm just plain bored with blogging. However, I'm aware at the moment that I have nothing to replace it...it's a lovely outlet for various creative activities. Recently, I heard a rumor...that Blogger is going offline. I don't know if it's true but it does create mind games...would I care? Probably not...like work retirement, it would force us to look for other avenues of expression.

I quit salaried work when forced to do so but picked up new kinds of work rather than sit in a chair and die of boredom.

ellen abbott said...

You mean time to quit blogging? When it becomes a chore, something you have to do instead of want to do. If you mean losing interest in life then it might be time to see a doctor. Losing a child is devastating. Perhaps you suffer from depression Rosaria.

Rachel Cotterill said...

I would say your goal is to experience your life and enjoy it. Sometimes I find blogging helps with that - looking through a camera lens (or even looking around with eyes that have recently been framing photographs) can highlight the familiar in new ways. Sometimes, it becomes a chore and gets in the way -- I get in my own way -- and that's when I know I have to change the way I'm doing things. I think what I'm trying to say is there is no right answer, and the answer may be different on different days. But that's okay. You'll be an amazing woman however many blogs you feel like contributing to at any given time :)

Rob-bear said...

Such amazing comments from your friends. A tribute to your wonderful blogging! You know that I have just changed some things around, in an attempt to maintain my sanity (which is questionable even on a good day). It just felt right. And it felt right to post something today — not because I "had to," not because I was expected to — but because I wanted to! You friends have given you wonderful support and thoughts, Rosaria. I would hate to see you disappear. But you will know what is right for you.

Blessings and Bear hugs!

the walking man said...

When you have nothing to say Rosaria then say nothing. There are no rules.

UIFPW08 said...

Ciao Rosaria un saluto affettuoso dalla Sicilia.
Maurizio

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. your loss is monumental and always will be - I'm not surprised you chopped and changed and rethought life ...

... somehow life, left alone, seems to take us along with it. Your waterfall picture .. with the water doing its stuff in the background and your selfies ... are fun - but I think the outdoors and nature are more in keeping with you ..

With thoughts - Hilary

#1Nana said...

Change used to make me nervous. Now I've learned to recognize the symptoms and that allows me to relax and ride the wave. There isn't a perfect time…you move when the wave hits you.