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Monday, October 21, 2013

What we talk about when we don't want to talk.

We sat in the waiting room while our respective husbands had their post surgery tests. We talked about the landscape outside the window, the beauty of the grasses, the time and energy necessary to keep that water clear and those paths debris-free. We talked about our respective garden philosophies, she exclusively with flowers, and I tending to vegetables most of the time.

I let the garden do what it wants, I told her. I try to grow what I can't get at the markets.
Oh, like what?
Fava. Fava beans. I'm obsessed with them;  I eat them fresh right off the husk...

She didn't know fava, except that remark made by Hannibal Lectern in Silence of the Lambs. Was wondering what/why that remark was there in the first place.

Her husband returned from the lab and they were off to their next appointment. When my husband returned, I told him the woman's husband had the same surgery, at about the same time. Is that what you guys talked about?No. We talked about gardening.

He looked out the window and remarked there were herons hiding in the grasses.

14 comments:

joeh said...

I don't see the herons...not sure I've ever had fava beans...I'm not that into gardening...


I sure hope your husband is going to be ok!

L. D. said...

Having spent many hours with a sick person I think that it is better to talk about the gardens to relieve the stress and the reality will still be there when you are done.

Patrica Ball Morrison said...

Hoping all will be well with your husband...gardening is innocuous and a pleasant subject, and is a welcome respite from what is otherwise not so...

Amanda said...

herons hiding in the grasses.....a fitting metaphor for not wanting to talk about things that are painful and difficult. focusing on gardening bestows a healing vibe, so it's an excellent, if even unconscious choice.

yaya said...

I've been on both sides of the operating table...there's a look we have waiting for family or friends. The nervous watching or magazines that aren't being read..food that has no tsste. The small chitchat that connects us with other "waiters". I would rather stay on the working side! I hope all is good with your hubby and with you.

Brian Miller said...

life goes on....in the garden...in the waiting room...out the window in the tall grass....

Friko said...

Even when we are silent we speak volumes.

There will be time to mention the unmentionable when we remember it afterwards.

The Broad said...

I do hope that all has gone well. This must have been a worrying time for both of you. I believe fava beans are equivalent to the English broad bean. They are a bit similar to lima beans -- but not quite! Living in the UK I miss fordhook lima beans -- never thought of trying to grow them!

Becky Jerdee said...

Or it could go the other way...my husband had knee surgery and can't stop talking about it. I'm the one that wants to talk about the trees.

Maggie May said...

Well over here...... we talk about the weather! (At first) However, gardening seems a great topic.
Maggie x

Nuts in May

da coach said...

glad to see you are still posting

Vagabonde said...

Enjoyed reading about your time in the waiting room. We just came back home after being away almost a month. This morning my husband had to go to surgery to take a test to make sure his bladder cancer had not returned (it has not) – there was no one but me in the waiting room and I read a book on slavery. Next week it is my turn – I have to have surgery but since my husband does not drive I almost had to cancel it as I know no one here who can give me a ride to the hospital (about 15 miles away.) Luckily I called the hospital and was told that if an adult is with me, then we can use a cab (of course they don’t know about my husband’s Alzheimer and I did not tell.)
We had a good trip but it is nice to be back home – now I have to get busy downloading all the pictures.

Kathleen McCoy said...

Isn't it interesting how small talk fills the gaps of fear and sadness and anxiety? Maybe we need this diversion. A group of us here each take turn driving our neighbor Phyllis to kidney dialysis treatments three times a week and sitting with her for the four hours it takes. Our conversations during that time are rarely about the matter at hand and more an exercise in keeping life as normal as possible for her in quite abnormal circumstances. It tends to be what she prefers.

Food, Fun and Life in the Charente said...

It is amazing what one thinks of when you are trying to distract yourself from something unpleasant. The garden is a great subject for those times. Hope all is well, take care Diane