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Saturday, September 1, 2012

The season for losing friends.

Do we just walk down the street, and start talking to someone we happen to be attracted to and the conversation becomes the key to a rendez-vous, a promise to meet again, an exchange of vital statistics?

Remember how easy it was to make friends in school? The person in front of you in line at the bookstore or lunch line, or the one sitting in the same classroom, perhaps with the same last name/
How easy!

In blogland, it starts easily enough. One visit, one comment. If the other reciprocates, another visit, another comment. We then sign up to follow each other and continue to visit and write comments for a while.

Do people we follow or follow us in blogland become life-long friends? Do they become as good as neighbors,  as close as those we meet at church? What attracts us and repels us? I know that in my writing group we never talk religion or politics.

Does the same rule apply in blogland?




36 comments:

Brian Miller said...

i think it is easier to make friends...and just as easy to lose friends in the blogland---esp having never met...i have made some pretty incredible friends though....i have met in person 13 blog friends now...even had one stay at my house for 3 days a couple weeks ago...had never met them prior to that day...but knew them for 3 years online...i think there are those special ones that stick with us regardless what we say...and understand we dont have to agree on anything....or everything...ha...

Rian said...

I definitely believe with the 'agree to disagree' philosophy, but I'm not sure that getting into discussions about religion or politics with people that you don't know well is smart... UNLESS the blog specifically concerns these topics.

Roberta said...

I recently underwent back surgery and no one in my family was very supportive. Turns out that a woman I never met helped me get through it all by e-mailing me and commenting on my blog.

We make friends where ever we can I think.

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

It's an interesting new kind of friendship, Rosaria, but one that I treasure. We learn so much about each other by reading all our blogs and making comments. It's kind of like pen pals used to be only better. I haven't been blogging long enough to test the longevity of such friendships, but I do know already that I value them greatly.

Wendy Lu said...

Even in the blogosphere, it takes time to continue blog friendships because you constantly have to leave comments, reply to comments, update and participate in blog events. I think friendships in general, whether online or offline, definitely require time, energy and dedication. But most of them are worth it in the end!

~Wendy Lu

The Red Angel Blog

Linda Myers said...

Friends throughout my life have come from what I was doing at the time. The good ones stick around or are easy to catch up with. These days new friends come drom classes I take or from my blogging world. I suspect they will stay around as long as we blog.

Maggie May said...

I think making friends is an ongoing process. Some bloggers we are drawn to even though we don't meet.I think that it is to do with things we might have in common and things we share with each other.
I think we've disclosed quite a lot about ourselves over the years and that includes politics and religion.
I think full acceptance is the answer.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Tom Sightings said...

I like what Dr. Kathy McCoy says: like pen pals, only better.

joeh said...

Sometimes I slip and talk politics. I usually lose one or two followers.

Terra said...

Blog friends and in person friends are treasured by me. Blog friendships increase my range of people in my circle; they may live on other continents, be wealthy or poor, share recipes, they each have different skills, which makes it enriching to know them and to know you, Rosario.

Terra said...

Oops Rosaria, I spelled your name wrong in my first comment. Silly me.

Helen said...

Actually, I don't mind reading about religion or politics .. nor do I mind talking about either myself. Since I dropped Living Boldly, poetry seems to have taken over my blog life. I don't know if you read Snowbrush who lives in Eugene, but he is 'out there' when it comes to religion or lack thereof, and I do enjoy him immensely. I follow many bloggers, but a select few have places in my heart.

Patricia said...

Virtual friends became an unexpected gift from my blogging activity. I don't fully understand the dynamic, but I think like attracts like. I am drawn to certain blogs because of the focus of the blog...it is something I value or resonate with. It is not unusual to think, s/he is saying just what i have thought! I don't know if they are as close as neighbors, but the friendship doesn't place many demands, just power on, visit and comment anytime of day or night! It certainly expands one's world and often it is my virtual friends who seem to understand most! I value my new electronic penpals! I value you, Rosaria!

yaya said...

This is the second blog today that talks about blog friends. I find myself relating a story or experience I've read about and always say "a blog friend" instead of just using the term friend. I guess I feel the need to qualify it because maybe it's not like I really "know" the blogger personally. Does that make the friendship different? Is it like having an imaginary friend? When I started blogging I never knew that the blog world was so vast..so interesting...so fun! I thought my blog would just be viewed by family. I have enjoyed visiting many blogs that speak of religion or politics and I don't feel the need to be insulted if our views are different. I love to learn something new everyday..and if that means seeing a different point of view..so be it. I love your wisdom and advice. I love to read about being retired..hopefully one day my blog will be similar! Hope you have a great Labor Day weekend! BTW one of my "blog" friends is coming to visit me in a few weeks. We've never met so I'm a bit nervous but hopefully we'll have a good experience!

becky said...

I love all my blog friends for whatever posts they wish to share...as long as they reciprocate. I can tell when they're not interested in my posts and know when we'll not find it easy to maintain our connections. I'm faithful and loyal to those who are faithful and loyal to me. Pretty simple. I appreciate whatever they add to my world, varied as it is. However, Rosaria, you are one of my favorites because you've been with me since my blog beginnings and you always have important things to say and I always go to your blog ASAP.
Love you,
Becky

janette-salvador gonzaga said...

Hi, Rosaria! I'd like to think you are my newfound blog friend. And I come all the way from the Philippines! You get deeper insights in blog friendships because of our tendency to clam up in face to face encounters. We are more honest and sincere. Thank you for connecting with me.

Eva Gallant said...

I tend to avoid writing about religion or politics; I tend to avoid blogs that are too religious. I do read one blog that is often political in nature, but the writer and I are on the same page, so it's cool.

Lydia said...

Well, Rosaria, I met the young man via blogging who would a year later after great communication between us would write me a one-line email. It read: "Mom?" Dex lives in the Philippines where he was born, and where his birth mother walked out on the family when he was nine. I never had kids. We are a match made in heaven, most definitely! You can read my posts about meeting him and his week-long visit with us in the top tab titled My Own Favorite Posts on my blog's main page.

As for religion and politics, I feel mine show sometimes in my posts (more overtly in my earlier blogging years). If I feel it, and it fits the time/topic, etc. then I will definitely express it. And if I lose followers (I lost two once after a provocative post) it does not matter to me. Conversely, I like reading other points of view at others' blogs...

Joani said...



I've only been blogging a couple of years. Lifelong friends....I'm not sure about that. Close as neighbors....My neighbors & I are not close at all. In fact, I barely know their names.
Religion or politics....I don't talk about that on my blog and most times people don't want to talk about either.
Somewhere I've read or heard that one comes into a person's life for a reason & when that reason is accomplished, they move on to where they are needed next. I've seen this happen in my own life.

A very interesting subject indeed. Thanks for sharing. Hugs.

erin said...

this makes me laugh, rosaria. you know me. we're friends. and we talk politics and religion every time we utter anything. we all do, one way or another.

we can each have disparate ideas, however we are often attracted to like philosophies, but essential is respect, regardless of ideological platform, respect and empathy. we SHOULD discuss the basic structure of our living. we should. but we should also always exercise respect and empathy. in this i am still learning))))

xo
erin

erin said...

(oh, and my blog friends have had a profound effect on my philosophy of living in the last few years exactly because we are brave enough to discus the fundamental philosophies of living.)))

xo
erin

ellen abbott said...

I think maybe it's harder to make friends as you get older. We have very few friends and moving out to the country sort of let slip the ones we had. I do still try to keep in touch, calling now and then but I have noticed that I am the one who calls. I've only found one person really, out here I think I would like to be friends with but I haven't made the effort. I'm basically anti-social and so is she. I learned to be a loner as a kid, living as we did in a very isolated part of town.

ellen abbott said...

but I forgot, I wanted to say that I do get a lot of companionship and interaction through blogging and it is enough for me.

That gentleman's lady said...

Yes! I love those friends that we make through blogland. To be honest, for a while, I was more real and honest with them than the people I have known for a long long while.
And there is no limit to it. You always always make new friends. xx

potsoc said...

O.K. one of the first posts I read here was about blog correspondents fitting in opr not and leaving when the fit was not there.
At first I was onje of the very few men followers and it felt somewhat awkward, there are a few more nowadays and the fit is getting better.

Cinner said...

I think it is harder, but I definately need to make more of an effort....I tend to be a loner. glad to be able to be back now that my computer is fixed. yeah...that helps in blogland. lol. hugs.

musicwithinyou said...

We cross each others path one way or another. Some are brief but others will know you until you die and you will know that they was there for you in times you need them. Once you are out of school you will make friends in all different places. I even made a good friend at a concert. I sometimes feel I can confide in them more since they are not family so they can give me a more honest answer.

I was brought up not to talk about certain topics but I guess it's who you are with if you feel comfortable about these topics.

quilterliz said...

G'day Rosaria. I joined a craft swap about 12 months ago,that was arranged through a fellow blogger who's blog is one that I follow. The idea was that she would pair each of us up with someone and we would send a small craft package to that person. My swap partner was a lady who lives in France. We have kept in contact and when I am in Paris in January, we are planning to meet up. Harder for her, as she has to travel. That to me is the meaning of friendship, she didn't have to suggest we meet, but she did and I am really looking forward to it.Take care. Liz...

She Writes said...

I never take blogland friend losses personally, and yet I am endeared to the ones that stay for years :).

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

A good question, Rosaria but I don't think anyone's written the "rules" for blog friendships yet. I've met some of my commenters and regard some as friends, yes. I hope to meet you one day!

Amanda said...

i don't know the answer to that, rosaria. the older i get, the more i understand what i read once about how some people come into your life for a moment, a day, a week, a year, or a lifetime, but all relationships - no matter how long or short - are meant to teach us lessons.

#1Nana said...

Since I retired it has been easier to make cyber friends than to make connections in my little town. Perhaps because interaction isn't so time sensitive on the Internet. People leave comments and read blogs when they have time. In the real world people have a lot of activities that demand their time...it's been weeks since I had lunch with a real world friend.

Rosie said...

I have only been blogging a short time but love to follow others' blogs. I hope that I will make friendships with some of them. Its a bit like pen-pals before we had computers and Facebook. Unforunately I didn't keep in touch with my pen-pals but feel like I have a second chance here in blogland, but I'm not a Facebook fan. I will be retiring soon and am a bit concerned that I won't have the personal contact with people so Blogger might be my new best friend.

Rosie said...

I have only been blogging a short time but love to follow others' blogs. I hope that I will make friendships with some of them. Its a bit like pen-pals before we had computers and Facebook. Unforunately I didn't keep in touch with my pen-pals but feel like I have a second chance here in blogland, but I'm not a Facebook fan. I will be retiring soon and am a bit concerned that I won't have the personal contact with people so Blogger might be my new best friend.

Barbara Corrigan said...

I am new to blogland. Thanks for this post. I have three friends who have have supported me in this venture and have also written a blog. Now I am hoping to meet new friends. Thanks for this post. I am writing about being seventy plus! Hope we can share some stories.

Barbara Corrigan said...

I am new to blogland. Thanks for this post. I have three friends who have have supported me in this venture and have also written a blog. Now I am hoping to meet new friends. Thanks for this post. I am writing about being seventy plus! Hope we can share some stories.