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Monday, December 12, 2011

Wishing upon a star, and a moon, and the entire firmament of friends.


Once, in a wishing, bewitching, spell-blinding season like this, in our very own
castle on a hill, behind  ivy thick walls and iron gates that kept evil out and pets and children and wishes close at hand, we thought we lived a great life then, measuring time and love by the empty boxes piled outside on trash days.

In fact, our  trash bin was the only thing that told neighbors and thieves that we lived here, behind the gates, the ivy, the heavy curtains.

 I recognized my neighbors with a hand wave as I drove by their places, neither of us  knowing the name of the other.  I only learned their names after an earthquake caused us to borrow flashlights and bread from each other, take turns figuring out how to shut off the gas lines.

Once, after we had just arrived, we invited people from our neighborhood and our work places to a holiday open house. Only one couple showed up.
  

Soon, we too stopped trying to meet new people. All we had time to do was work, and on the weekend,  get everything organized so we could return to work.

Now and then, we'd sneak  in a dark movie theater for a couple of hours on a grey day, munch on popcorn, sip on a coke, and escape the numbing routine. For those two hours, whatever was on the screen became our real lives. Friends shared laughter; family got together, issues resolved.

And because of such lives, all punctuated by work and work, we look at this season of wishes as a respite on a great hike. We wish more for ourselves and our families. We wish to hold hands with each other, comfort each other.

This is the season of faithful moments, times when we pause and call on anything and everything that is dear to us, bigger than us, more luminous than us to help us make deep connections.

Happy Holidays, wherever you are. Rejoice.



33 comments:

Dawn said...

I was holding my breath as I read this. THIS is what I have been lamenting and pondering for so very often lately...and it saddens me. I long for that connection with the real world. The people. Eachother.

Another beautiful post dear blogger friend.
Thank you.

Terra said...

This is a wistful post, and I like your wishes for us, your blog friends. Let's all give each other a cyber hug today, no matter how far away we are.

Helen said...

Can you feel it? Close your eyes .. clear your mind .. it's the cyber hug Terra has wished for ... from me to you and everyone, everywhere!

Grandmother said...

Yes! We are not just meant to work, we are meant for more, we are meant to hold hands and comfort each other, to make deep connections. The WV is magin so I'll 'magin this world you paint and I'll rejoice.
Deep peace be yours this holiday season, Rosaria.

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

It is so sad that it takes a disaster before people connect.

Brian Miller said...

a time of pause...yes it is...and we need to do more of it through out the year and not just wait for the holidays for it to happen...

ellen abbott said...

It's all far too full of unreal expectations and demands for me. I prefer to try and make those connections on regular unglorified days.

#1Nana said...

My husband works with a farming community of Hutterites. They live as individual families within the community, but all work together for the community and share all their meals together. No TV, their own school and church...but I wonder at what cost is their safe, reliable life?

Joani said...

Hugs.
I, too, feel this way. I only know a few neighbors by name or just to wave. Have never been in their homes. I've been in this house for 15 years. As I'm just about to quit work, I long for finding a place where there is a community that supports everyone and looks out for each other. Wish me luck. Have a safe & happy holiday.

Linda Myers said...

We are on the Big Island of Hawaii at the moment. Last week we spent three lovely days with a daughter and son-in-law. Lots of talk and laughter, shared adventures and food. Then they left.

This is our eighth day on the island. We have explored it by car and on foot. So far, we haven't met another soul.

We need to do that.

Eva Gallant said...

Happy holidays to you,, too.

erin said...

and so we should learn and live every day better, right rosaria, and not wait for the once a year. i know you would think so.

my best always to you and yours.

xo
erin

Journeyin' Lady... said...

It's a different sort of world from when we grew up. In my neighborhood everyone knew everyone. This was also the case when we moved to a new subdivision in the 70's. We all had children of the same age and our block became a neighborhood of friends. But is no longer so. Enjoyed your thoughts again (and love the gate!)

Marguerite said...

I live in a fun neighborhood where everyone knows everyone, and we get together frequently for BBQ's, crawfish boils, and pool parties. Guess it must be a Cajun thing. :) Happy Holidays!

yaya said...

When I first moved to this small town from Chicago I was taken back by the people who seemed to know all about us, who we were, what we did, where we lived. I thought of them as nosey, not neighborly. I've since found most of the people truly caring and nice. When a patient comes into our operating room many times we know them, or their family and can give them a hug, a smile and a comfort of having someone they know holding their hand and being with them. There are times I wish I was back in the city...but when the chips are down I know I can call someone to help, be there for us, or even come to an open house. I often forget to be grateful for these blessings. Today I was waiting in line at the bank and the teller greeted at least 4 out of the 6 of us waiting by name as they approached the window. Yep, not too shabby!

shopgirl said...

well noticed and well said.

p.s. i hope you're enjoying this christmas season!

Cloudia said...

a thoughtful post that thoughtful folk will really relate to.



best holiday wishes to you in your secret garden-

http://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/

Maggie May said...

I'm afraid that city dwellers seem to be like this. It is not how it used to be when I was small.
We have to go out of our way now to make friends.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

the walking man said...

I simply do not care for the entire hoo ha of it all. I am connected to them I wish to be connected to through out the year and a tree or bright lights will not make me want to connect with someone for a day or two and then have them float off again until next year.

NitWit1 said...

Very reflectively written. As we age or circumstances in our lives evolve our perspectives of special occasions also seem to change.

In my old age I have less expectations, but still choose to celebrate in our mutually chosen ways, which have changed.

I am content with memories of my childhood, but the productive years of my life were similar in so many ways to yours. We semi-retired and began to have time to create warm memories, then as we have now entered old age we have changed again.

I do love hearing from my cyber friends, although I never have strived for a long list, as I have a lot of other interests, too.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, and all who read your posts.

Diana said...

Beautifully put. Back in San Diego, we had a neighbor from Ireland. We became friends, and she and here husband invited us to dinner and we reciprocated. She lamented, more than once, that people in the US don't invite friends and neighbors into their homes...or, at least, that was her experience. and largely, it had been mine. But I wish better for us all...

potsoc said...

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours, Rosaria.

becky said...

My, my what a breathtaking, heart-rending post! So much truth therein.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. you've echoed our thoughts ... we're on this life to intermingle, not hide away .. especially at Christmas time ..

Enjoy your Christmas .. cheers Hilary

Ruth said...

I understand this, and yes, it is time to pause and hold one another. Like Ellen, I am trying to find this connection in the everyday. I am trying to find connection with the students I serve. I'm lucky to have a job like I do, meeting with people all day.

xoxo

Suz said...

It begins with us

Robyn said...

A truly beautiful heartfelt post Rosaria.
I like the way you think.

much love to you from this corner of the globe x

Merry Christmas :)

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

Your sentiments are so deeply felt and beautifully expressed -- and shared by so many! I felt much the same way when we were working. The only time we really saw or spoke with our neighbors was during the Northridge earthquake and during a devastating fire the next year. Otherwise, garage doors slammed down as neighbors (and we) arrived home. No one had the emotional or physical energy to get to know each other. Things are very different since we've moved to a retirement (OK; Active Adult!) community where everyone is from somewhere else and wanting to make friends. It's a bit of a culture shock! I'm delighted with the present and sad for the past. My former neighbors were very good people -- just caught up in the busy-ness of their lives as we were.

Rubye Jack said...

It seems to all be about geography I'm afraid. Here, where I have a hard time with a lack of culture and things to do, everyone knows everyone. I know all of my 21 neighbors in this community by name and they all join in in community gatherings such as Christmas dinner. Or, perhaps it has to do with this being an elderly community.

Happy Holidays Rosaria!

Hilary said...

Cities change us.. they insulate us. It's good to remember from time to time.. to remind ourselves that we don't need a buffer between ourselves and others.. we need to blend more. Another fine post.

CiCi said...

That is a great gate. It makes an excellent photo. Is that your gate? A gate can keep things out but it also keeps things in. Thinking we are in a good place in life is how we get through the working years, at least for most people. Some people are fortunate to have jobs they truly like and more power to them. Comforting each other is truly caring for each other. We really are not alone on this earth, no one is alone. We all breathe the same air and are warmed by the same sun. I can tell that this holiday season is causing you to reflect on our humanity. Happy holidays to you and yours and to all of us.

Christine's Pantry said...

Great post. I enjoyed reading the post.

Paul said...

I very much appreciate your thoughts and I truly admire these beautifully crafted literature you've written. Everyone should be happy and grateful for all the blessings we receive each day. Have a fine Christmas with your family!