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Thursday, April 25, 2013

The distance that defines us.

(From right: Hubby, eldest son, his daughter, I and my son's wife)


We spend more time facing our mobiles than  
walking side by side
the way people do in 
other places
other countries
other times.
Each time we see each other, we re-learn habits
on an hourly rate
negotiating every little decision, where to go for dinner
what to do for fun. 

We notice how much and how little
we have changed;  how little and how much we know of each other's
daily challenges
as years and months are rolled up and stewed down to their essence
each time we see each other.
We talk, or avoid talking; we share or avoid sharing;
initiate and extinguish difficult conversations
reveal and dispel fears.

Which each hour
each day
each activity
memories return brighter
ties grow stronger
a new balance is re-established. 

16 comments:

yaya said...

I think you've defined the adult/child, parent relationship perfectly! I still shake my head when I think that for so many years I was the center of my kid's lives..I knew everything about them and what they did all day...now, they have their own lives and do things that I don't have a part in anymore..and that's how it should be. Love can still exist even though we don't co-exist in the same home anymore! Nice looking family!

Brian Miller said...

it is interesting the way we stay in touch...when i was young i had one uncle at a distance...and that was odd and it was special when we saw them...

now i have my parents and hour away...and my siblings are further out than i...staying in touch digitally....

Helen said...

... 'how little and how much we know of each other's daily challenges' ~ This line in particular gave me pause for thought ... and it's true. I'm guessing many of us need to work on that. Beautiful poetry, Rosaria.

#1Nana said...

Lovely. When I visit my family we quickly fall into our established patterns. It's comfortable to be able to count on a relationship that doesn't change. My grand children don't have phones yet, but if they get their hands on a kindle or iPad they are lost to us.

Tabor said...

Such a complex but compelling dance.

erin said...

good looking family:)

yes, we're always learning one another, thank god, but rosaria, i am a hold-out. no mobile for me, my children, my mate. no and no. i firmly believe we are doing damage to ourselves with this self imposed distance under the guise of connectivity. as a society we need for more balance. i can't imagine the long reaching and lasting effects.

xo
erin

ellen abbott said...

I like being close to my family, my kids and grandkids. having some difficulty with my son lately though.

reasonscheerful123 said...

Hello Rosaria, don't know if you remember me but I'm back blogging on a new site after a long break. I know what you mean about distance and readjustment...as time gones on I wish more and more our families were all closer to support and enjoy each other. Hope you had a good time together.

Helga said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Helga said...

And then, for a wrong word spoken, a hurtful deed done in the past, intentionally or unintentionally and misunderstood, distances become wider, chasms suddenly erupt, and we might not know any longer what defines us, what defines our closest relationships and what, if there still is, is the binding power between us. And that’s where I am at right now... everyone is alone, and, love is a fickle thing. Quite heart-wrenching, when one counted on a seemingly stable relationship that wouldn't, shouldn't and couldn't possibly change.

Rob-bear said...

Connecting and re-connecting. The relationship is the sum of the parts, plus what you've filled in.

Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. I have to say I don't carry my mobile phone - but then not having children, or family it's not necessary ...

I do get really frustrated when people sit on it all the time - and are inconsiderate of others in the process.

Love seeing you all together though .. thanks for sharing the photo ...

Cheers Hilary

Lisa said...

I just waved goodbye as my sons left for college, I understood perfectly your last paragraph.

Amanda said...

Fascinating how different generations in that shot are looking at their hand-helds - both your husband and granddaughter. It is true how we have become so attached to our electronics that they have become extensions of our hands. Perhaps eons in the future they will become part of our bodies in actuality.

But you are all headed in the same direction in that image, and by the looks of your daughter in law, with good humor to boot. Wonderful shot of you too Rosaria!

troutbirder said...

Simply put, I'm with Helga on this one....

manikchand said...

Rosaria, dear old girl

Its flowing prose that cascades down like a spring brook, thats your forte!