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Friday, January 28, 2011

The end of the journey and other tales...

This is my sweet man, enjoying a dry day at the beach. Not for long though; see those clouds gathering behind him? We walk out of the house every day feeling as though we are given a reprieve, a short vacation to explore the outdoors. If the tide is out, our time is spent walking the beaches.

Doesn't it sound  romantic? To walk out and enjoy the outdoors and the waves anytime we feel like? To go meanderings into the forests and up and down rivers discovering new vegetation, new coves and bays? We are in suspended animation at this time in our lives, knowing our days are numbered.

It is precisely because we know our health is changing, our abilities are diminishing, our opportunities may not be there ten minutes from now, a month from now, that we breathe deeply of life at this time. We are mindful of what the journey ahead will be like. We appreciate every moment without pain or inconveniences.

This time of our lives has changed us in fundamental ways. We are not worried about what our neighbors think, what goals we must achieve. We have lived a version of our dreams, a version of a life we wanted for ourselves. Our perceptions have colored our experiences and  determined our paths.  We have been products of our times, and of our own imagination.  Each of us can trace the moment when decisions were made.

At the end of the journey, all those moments are just part of the tapestry, a red ribbon here, a green contour there. We live rich lives regardless of the money we had or we made, regardless of the opportunities we had or didn't have. We managed to raise families, love one another, forgive our frailties.

We  become more like children at this time. 
Now, if only we didn't become helpless as well.

67 comments:

ellen abbott said...

if only.

Bz said...

it's deep :) I might just get an insight into what my parents feel. thank you for that.

Rachel Cotterill said...

You always have such interesting perspectives. Very touching. Seize the day, indeed :)

Nancy said...

Beautifully written, and for anyone on the side of knowing you have lived longer than you are going to live, very pertinent. Being grateful every minute is the key.

LindyLouMac said...

Reading this post made me feel rather sad, I think especially because we moved my Mum into a nursing home recently. Take Care and stay fit xx

Pat.Rati said...

I love this! The text is very impressive, I am touched.

Marion said...

What a loving post, Rosaria. I have to agree that having one's health is priceless beyond words. Thanks for sharing your beautiful world.

Blessings,
Marion

Angelina said...

...and the best may yet to come.

Dawnwoo said...

What a lovely way to look at life. Thank you it lifted my spirits after a trying day x

Amanda said...

brilliant, rosaria. this is so moving, so elegantly stated, and so very true. you speak to the preciousness of that moment, a moment that is always there but not so noticeable to us at younger ages, when people fill their lives with all the stuff of childrearing or ladder climbing. it's only when things quiet around us that we begin to hear and see what was always there.

you are very wise, and fortunate to know how to honor that moment.

xx

Brian Miller said...

nice..cant wait to be a kid again...ok so i havent grown up yet but this gives me a good excuse smiles...

becky said...

Yes, it's hard to look more closely at the end of our future and actually seeing it take shape...

Jimmy said...

I love your perspective and insights. Everyone should be reading your thoughts like this so we can prepare ourselves for what really matters in life instead of approaching things with trepidation. Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your life with us.

The Girl from Cherry Blossom Street said...

Rosaria,

You are a wizard!

MomentOfInsight said...

I love your writing and your perspective! All generations can benefit from reading this and learn to understand the value of one's past as a means of living in the present. Life has a way of passing too quickly without finding time to appreciate it. Thanks for your wonderful words!

Suz said...

it really is a grand time
just wish it had happened when I was still cute and thin ;)

Hines-Sight said...

Very nice!

The Cat Photographer said...

Your beautiful post remind me of my favorite qoute: "When you learn how to die you learn how to live." (Tuesdays with Morrie)

Life should be lived as you write. Anticipate adventure when one gets up in the morning. Welcome each day with the enthusiasm of a young child.

This was such a beautiful and in-depth posting I will save it in my laptop. There are so many Thank you Rosaria!

MarClar Lillie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cheshire wife said...

Does anyone have a crystal ball?

potsoc said...

"Carpe diem" before it is too late. And the later it gets the more you must "carpe".

Eva Gallant said...

At this age, we all hope we don't become helpless. I would so hate to be a burden to my spouse or my children. And you are so right; we don't know what the next 10 minutes or 10 years will bring.

etoile said...

This an amazing perspective. I think all people should try to learn these values. I miss being a naive child and I'm only 23! We shouldn't have to live our lives like we are always waiting. Thank you for sharing! I think people from different generations should talk more. There is an India Arie song all about it...

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/indiaarie/betterpeople.html

Here is my favourite line...


"And if Old People would talk to
Young People, it would make us
Better People, all around....
(Yes it would)

[Verse 2:]
We went from radio to TV
Now we're going from LP to CD
Don't be afraid

To try something new
I can help you with the brand new technology
Help me with the age old philosophy
Together there's so much we can do"

Anna said...

Your blog contain a many useful information. Thanks for sharing.

Joani said...

Thank U for sharing. I'm looking forward to just doing.

Arkansas Patti said...

Beautifully said and sums up my feelings about this time also. I have nothing to add.

quilterliz said...

Hi Rosaria. Greeting from Australia. I worked in a hospital some years ago in the rehab ward and was due to go on three weeks leave and my husband and I were of to New Zealand and one of the older patients who was 92 at the time said to me "For every breath you take, take two and enjoy every moment of your life, because before you know it you will be old like me" I never forgot her words and have passed them on to many over the years, She passed away while I was on my holiday.

Stephanie said...

I think it's beautiful that you really see the wonderful things in life and don't take them for granted.

That's something I am constantly striving to do.
Thank you for sharing your experiences :)

Jeanie said...

A very thoughtful post that gives insight into a special time of life. I love where I am now and try to live it each day without fear of what might be ahead.

Irish Gumbo said...

I bow to the divinity within you.

Peace, and thank you for this.

Miss Sadie said...

"We live rich lives regardless."

Indeed we do, Rosaria.

Forrest said...

Thanks. We know that feeling in our home. I have yet to grow to your viewpoint but you've given me hope that I'll make it. The wind that has supported my wings for so many years is calming.

Marguerite said...

While I'm sure that it's nice to be free from the constraints of your younger years, I thought that you were only in your sixties? Gosh, my Dad is 89 and he's still living life to the fullest! :)

Woman in a Window said...

Rosaria, then you are living well. What else is there for any one of us to do but spend every moment as though it might be our last, for that is the way, regardless of our age. We should all go out and walk the beach or forest, spend time with our loved ones. Right now my daughter stands behind me weaving my hair into some kind of monstrosity and my son is playing some perverse heads and tails game with Robert. These times are the best of times.

much love to you
live this weekend hard and come back with stories

xo
erin

neptune said...

cool beach! I was in Rosarito too.

http://libertad-mundial.blogspot.com/

yaya said...

I'm just kissing this side of retirement..still working, but thinking that maybe..just maybe, I might one day not be working 5 days a week. My bones ache a little more, my eyes close very soon after sitting down after work, the idea of taking on new tasks or extra assignments doesn't really thrill me as much..I have to do it more for survival at this time in my career, than for the joy of moving forward. I really moved about as forward as I can go right now. So, like you I'm enjoying each day as much as possible. Enjoying being an empty nester, reconnecting with the Hubby in a new way without the demands of children and the hectic day to day activity schedule. Reconnecting with me in this new season of my life...easing out of the autumn of life into the winter.

JeannetteLS said...

Just found your blog through another blog and am so very glad I did. My best friend is my age, fifty-eight and she likes to call us old. I look at her as if she were nuts. She feels that the best is behind us. I disagree. Reading your blog makes me smile at all that lies ahead, the small moments and the big moments. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I will be following your blog, that's for sure. Enjoy your weekend.

Donna said...

I love how very wide that beach is...it would be fantastic to walk that!!! I would just LOVE it! I understand that it's because of high tide but wow!
How great that you are smelling the roses and appreciating the fact that you are doing it! I, too, really try to do it and each day as I get older is more that way. I think when my mother died, I truely felt my own mortality and at that time made the conscious effort to begin to do that!

cheap sex toys said...

it really is a grand time!!!

JW Productions Catering said...

This posting has made my day much brighter and my appreciation for life deeper. Thank you.

Robyn said...

Do we have to become helpless?
Is that set in concrete?

None of us know when our time will come to leave life as we know it, but I do understand as we grow older that we become more aware of the lack of time ahead.

We all know that death can arrive at any stage... young and very old if we're lucky.

I wish for you to live a long and healthy life.

xx Robyn

That Janie Girl said...

"Our perceptions have colored our experiences and determined our paths."

True, that.

Bz said...

thank you for visiting :) I'm touched by what you said. Nice to know that you were a teacher, maybe you can drop some ideas or tips... or comment if our ideas are any good :P Thank you once again :)

An English Shepherd said...

Interesting and a bit sad...

Lois May said...

I want to take in everything you say because I want to try to live it now! How wonderful that you can look back at such a rich life!

Shadow said...

now if only we could learn to live this way muuuuch earlier on in our lives...

Henry Zackery said...

you have perfect art in writing :) nice 2 know you Blog Bebas

the walking man said...

UH you're only as frail as you think you are. I have vast experience at that.

skupbutelek2002 said...

Good JOb

Carol@The Writers Porch said...

High 5 Rosaria !!
Why do we have to get to this place to figure out what REALLY matters ??
XOXO

Munir said...

Do not despair because you are actually enlightening your followers. I am a diabetic, have high blood preasure and asthma and am without health insurance I feel like my days are numbered as well. Guess what, that feeling makes me want to be nice to every one and leave as many good memories as I can.

lizardjim said...

Interesting thoughts on getting older... you're more than twice my age but it still makes you think...

James
-----------------------
www.creditwindow.co.uk

Dawn said...

beautiful words, beautiful thoughts.
your beauty shines through on this.
hugs, no matter what the age and capabilities!!!

Retired English Teacher said...

Connections are a wonderful thing. I love that you have connected so deeply to each other, to the spot in time where you both now find yourselves, to your era, and to your readers. I hope the foreshadowing of the dark clouds above are only for a storm that exists for a very short duration and does not have lasting consequences.

NormalToEatPB said...

I wish we could live this way, cherishing every moment, while we have youth. It's touching, please allow me to share my story with you: http://normaltoeatpb.blogspot.com/2011/01/normal-to-eatpb.html

Michael Offutt said...

What a beautiful blog post. My dad often says "old age is not for wimps". I definitely see your courage coming across in your writing. Luckily we live in a world that has constantly improving assistive technology options (I work in that field) and am able to see first-hand how many lives can be improved through advances in voice-control, environmental control systems, and computers allowing people to maintain independence through many obstacles that even a decade or so ago would have been insurmountable.

Cloudia said...

"It is precisely because we know our health is changing, our abilities are diminishing, our opportunities may not be there ten minutes from now, a month from now, that we breathe deeply of life at this time. We are mindful of what the journey ahead will be like. We appreciate every moment without pain or inconveniences."

Amen. You have written literature here.


Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

><}}(°>

Jeanne said...

Visiting via the Goddess and totally seeing why she chose this post to be first on her list.

izzy said...

i like this you can actually write down your thoughts which are the most difficult thing for me sometimes. i wish i could walk in the beach every morning.. i love it and i have learned something new today thank you.

I Wonder Wye said...

I have lived with a rare cancer for longer than i lived as a 'normal' person --diagnosed age 24, now 52. I am al about living in the moment. I love it when people are fully aware of the fragility and preciousness of life and grateful for the time they have together. Blessings to you both.

Anonymous said...

JUST FOUND YOUR BLOG A FEW MINUTES AGO.[LARGE TYPE BECAUSE OF EYESIGHT]. ENJOY YOUR WALKS ON THE BEACH. I MISS THOSE DAYS. GONE I'D SAY FOREVER.GRAMPS IS 80 ME IN 70S. HEALTH IS DRAINING ME. GRAMPS STIL HAS GOOD STEP.YOU WRITE LIKE I THINK. NEAT. THANKS FOR SHARING. I STAY ONE STEP AHEAD OF THIS OLD AGE WITH HUMOR.

A TAMPA GRANNY.

Life Cycle of Chaos said...

i just read your blog and really liked it. life take us in new directions everyday. When I planned on having a family I never planned that my child would be born with a disability. It has changed me forever, some good and some bad. I have a blog I would really love some feedback If you can. http://lifecycleofchaos.blogspot.com/

tattytiara said...

Life does offer us many perspectives to view it from, doesn't it? Very well written post.

Pat transplanted to MN said...

I envy that sandy beach as I am weary o the snow and cold and gray. Each week we think we will depart for the south/east but then the weather brings another front keeping us here where at least our roads are clear and we know our weather. Your post is inspiring, we all must appreciate where we are and celebrate where we have been.

Jburd said...

LOVE the beach scenery and certainly can identify with what you wrote. We're in our mid-50s, have no retirement plans per se, but have grown to appreciate each moment of every day the older we get...what's really important. keep up the heartfelt, genuine content. We love the beach ourselves and travel to east coast Georgia, Florida or South Carolina at least once a year. best wishes to you all!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. and when that end of the journey comes and you are helpless - as my mother is - we need our strength and can learn lessons .. because we never know how the journey will slow us down at the end, or just snuff us out .. there are so many ways life can take us - we need to be aware to some extent .. I'd have never have thought 4 years on .. my mother would still be here .. but she is and certainly not thinking of giving up! Still converses on occasions ..

So do what you're doing, walk the beaches, smell the tide as it ebbs and flows, explore your reaches, enjoy the storm once you're at your homely haven ... we never know how long we have .. live life .. enjoy your week - I know you both will. Cheers Hilary

Snowbrush said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'll be 62 in a few days. I thought for sure you followed my blog, but you don't, so I guess that's why I don't see much of you my fellow Oregonian who lives in such a beautiful place. If Peggy loved the coast like I, we would sure go there a lot more than we do.