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Friday, August 22, 2014

The Togetherness Factor

I grew up in a small family, just my parents, an older brother and I. Just before I left for America, my baby brother was born. Since there is quite an age difference between us, each of us felt like only children. I got Dad  to take me places I wanted to go for over twelve years before the baby took over everyone's attention. Yes, we had a big extended family, but we didn't spend much time with them.

My son Scott married into a very close knit family.

In this recent picture, his wife, daughter and immediate family decided to come together on vacation to Oregon. This is the extended family's first visit to these parts.

 First, they all had to agree right up front on the need for such trip, the purpose of it, the destinations, and the arrangements, such as where to stop to spend the night, etc,,,

I have known them for a long time, a very close-knitted group, supportive and generous with each other. The reason for the trip: dropping my/our grandchild off at Reed College in Portland. Hence the reason for them to stop over on the Southern Oregon Coast to visit with us, the in-laws. My son Scott, a teacher, was not on this trip, as his school calendar had already started.

Our grandchild has been raised by the entire family.

Raising children with the help of a large family becomes everybody's responsibility and everybody's joy. Uncles and aunts contribute their time, energy and resources in making sure the new generation is well supported, well guided, well equipped to face the larger world facing them. My grandchild is lucky to have been born among such caring individuals who many times put aside their own needs and wants to join her and become her biggest supporters. At every activity she has been involved in, she's had a loving audience there, cheering for her, congratulating her, joyful with her. And so, as she goes off to college, the family too will stop by the famous campus, visit the halls, inspect the living quarters.

Most importantly, she'll learn through example, will internalize how and what a family does, and will look forward to a union in her future that is this fulfilling and this rewarding.


19 comments:

joeh said...

Sadly this is often missing in a world where families split up and move to other parts of the country.

Patricia Edie said...

Wonderful post, Rosaria. How beautiful to think that a child is raised by her entire family! I think that sense of love and belonging is the greatest gift a family can give to a child!

Eva Gallant said...

I was the youngest of 7 kids. Although my oldest sister passed away many years ago, my siblings and I are quite close. There's nothing like family.

Velva said...

Gives new meaning to It takes a Village- thanks for sharng this warm and wonderful post.

Velva

kj said...

I now know you are a remarkable and generous woman. Your acceptance of Scott's 'other' family hits close to my daughter's circumstance. You've helped me to feel and be grateful.

Love
kj

yaya said...

I grew up in a large family where our Grandparents lived with us even though there were 6 kids and only one bath and 3 bedrooms. My parents actually shared a bedroom with 3 of my brothers so Grandma and Grandpa would have their own room. I've cherished the memories and glad I got to know my extended family and my roots. Your Grandchild is very lucky to have so many who love her! Good luck to her in the future!

Dr. Kathy McCoy said...

I loved this post, Rosaria! I'm so fascinated to see family systems that work in such positive ways (after years as a therapist dealing with dysfunctional families and living in one of my own). Your granddaughter is so lucky to have so many family members who love and care for her. I have a friend who has a large, loving family and all of his kids love spending time together and now their children are best friends with each other. It's such a beautiful thing to see when this happens.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Rosaria .. what a great post - and yes many families are like that - isn't it great she'll have lots of family to fall back on and to be there for her ..

Good luck to her at College .. and how lovely for you to meet up with everyone once again .. cheers Hilary

Maggie May said...

That grandchild will grow up to be really confident as she will feel very much loved.
What a wonderful blessing that is.
Maggie x

Nuts in May

Brian Miller said...

nice...i think that having those touches from family...form all the different age groups...plays a large part in the development of children...my extended family is quite large and sundays at gramma's were a great time of seeing everyone

Linda Myers said...

My son was in a relationship with a woman from one of these families. He was very often involved in their activities. We rarely saw him!

Rob-bear said...

What a wonderful family, and grandchild! I think she'll do quite well.

Blessings and Bear hugs!

ellen abbott said...

your granddaughter is lucky to have such a large support system.

#1Nana said...

It is a regret that we never lived close to family. When we immigrated to America, there was just my aunt and uncle as extended family. On the other hand, sometimes it is a blessing to have some distance from family. Your granddaughter is fortunate to have the support of family.

the walking man said...

I honestly couldn't imagine that many family members or what it would be like.

troutbirder said...

It's wonderful though harder and harder to do in today's world...:(

Friko said...

Large families can be utter joy. I wouldn’t know personally, but I believe that people like you think so and wish that my measly, tiny, distant family at least could be close.
Ah well, never mind.

Journeyin' Lady... said...

Large families can be wonderful but so can smaller families. Your granddaughter is fortunate to have the former but I think it all comes down to how any size family interacts. Really liked your post today. Famalies are so important!

Hilary said...

What a wonderful family. So beautiful that a child has her roots as secure as hers hers are on both sides, while she branches off and finds her own light in the world.