Time and regrets.

My young nephew and niece in this photograph taken in 1970 have just recently gotten in touch with me. Actually, a son of the boy began to research, found my memoir blog and got in touch with me, someone he had never met, someone his father had met only once.

In this picture he sent me, I'm twenty seven years old returning to my homeland after an absence of ten years, all grown up, married and with a two-year old in tow, Pictured here are my nephew and niece, children of my eldest brother.

My niece and nephew, now in their fifties and forties, look today just as they did back then.

I, on the other hand am unrecognizable. I notice how much better looking I was back then! Why didn't I know that at that time? I only remember that I worried about my figure, my clothes, my lack of time, my lack of resources...

Do you feel that way looking back?
That somehow you were better looking and even happier than you remember you were?
That your life was more exciting and fulfilling than you thought it was at that time?

There I sat for this photo, preoccupied, in my own world, while the children, especially little Laura was so eager to accept me. I wish I had kept up with them after that visit; I wish my own children could have communicated across the ocean with their cousins.

Truth is that regrets come with age and usually too late for making amends.
Yet, while I have time on this earth I shall remind everyone of the following things:

1. You are most critical of yourself when you are young. Looking ahead, you'll appreciate yourself more.

2. Keep in touch with your loved ones; they are the ones who put their arms around you right away and are willing to take you in regardless of your worth.

May your holidays be with family and loved ones.

An Update and a preview...

This summer is a mixed bag. My garden has been delayed by weather and other circumstances beyond my control. By now, I should be harvesting favas, peas, onions, broccoli... I blame the wet and cool weather as well as the many crows that are now making their nests in these trees.  Last year, bluejays invaded this space, the year before, moles and rabbits.  Everyone comes to the water in the summer.

Two of our big machines, the tractor and the weed whacker broke down. Two of our bathrooms were upgraded, taking months, with people in and out of the house.  My daughter  had surgery and I was gone to her place to provide assistance.  My husband needed emergency dental care that pushed everything else aside, including the mowing and weed whacking with the new machines we purchased.  Plus, we had company!  And we are expecting more.

No wonder my head is spinning and I'm taking refuge in my new blog. Real Food
There, I can stay positive and calm . Cooking relaxes me.

This is really typical summer stuff here.
All winter and spring we live predictable lives.
Then, the rain stops, weeds take over, fences need mending and we are outdoors getting hurt and tired.
Ah, the fun of summer.
The expenses of summer.
The excitement will last us for the next nine months.
I'll keep you posted so you can send your sympathy cards this way. I should be feeling sorry for you in sweltering mid western heat.
 I do. Hope your weather improves.

The rest of the family: The Comforters

The Comforters is an indie singer/songwriter group, husband and wife team, Pia and Jason, here in a live music performance in Portland. Pia is our daughter, the middle child, between S and B, the boys you met in my previous post.

Besides writing all their own songs, The Comforters perform and record at their own music studio in Eugene, Oregon. Whenever we can, hubby and I like to take in the live performances, the intimate settings of their music making, appreciating their work and artistry. The two of them are inseparable.

Should you wish to hear their music and see more pictures, visit their website:

http://www.feelthecomforters.com

Enjoy.

Crossing the Bridge for the Reunion.

The minute we entered San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge I began to tense up. This was Saturday morning, and the bridge was lined up with tourists. If there are delays, this is the place. Fortunately, the day was clear-usually it is foggy and drizzly-and sunny, with perfect visibility.

And now the reason we went down to visit: my grandchild-teen beauty J, her sweet mother T., her husband and son S. with a bag of goodies, and our youngest, not married son B. The old man is my teddy bear hubby. They are all taller and louder than I.

J is thirteen going on thirty, and will end up taller than her mom. She speaks three languages, but not her mother's native Burmese, or my native Italian. She chose to study Chinese and Spanish, practising with no one in particular. In my memoir-yes, you heard correctly, and it is finished and on ice for a while-I am conversing with my grandchild and using a sprinkling of Italian just so she gets the flavor and sound of my language and the lives of her ancestors.

I want her to know how amazing her life is, two worlds, the East and the West had to meet in order for her to be born. It is the story of America, and our family is a prime example. My husband brings the story of the West, the pioneers, grandparents from Denmark and Sweden, treks across the land on the Oregon Trail, growing up on a ranch in Montana.

My daughter and her husband are not pictured above. They live closer to us in Oregon and will be appearing in one of my posts one of these days. Some of you know that they are singers/songwriters/producers/music teachers. Whenever I want to feel uplifted, I go listen to their tunes.

For all the men and sons out there, Happy Father's Day. Share your stories with your children and grandchildren.

Obamafest

Yesterday was twentyfour hours of celebration and national pride day. Even non fans were polite and respectful, amazed at the national outpour of goodwill and cooperation. We all need him to succeed. We all pray that this feeling lasts for a while, long enough for us to learn to work together and solve problems together.


Are we over our Obamania? No! We are celebrity worshippers. Especially celebrities that remind us of where we all came from, the struggle we all faced to achieve a modicum of success. Celebrities for us represent possibilities and hope.

We'll discuss his speech at lenght today. We'll find hard copies and keep them for our grandchildren. We'll memorize a few lines that resonate with us. We'll reassure each other that we made the right choice with every choice that he makes from now on.

Watching Michelle, the girls and the rest of the relatives, reminded us that every man comes from a family, that the family will be there in the most intimate moments when he can blow steam and admit to doubt and despair at trying moments.

President Obama is already at work this morning. We all should do the same.

Holiday Thoughts

From Thanksgiving on, the entire holiday season has nothing but pitfalls and dead ends. While everybody shouts 'Merry' or 'Happy', nothing in the season feels happy. Guilt and anxiety hover everywhere.

In the past, shopping, started early, with and without lists, provided the remedy for the season's malady. In the present, shopping is no longer an option.

First, we live on a fixed income, and that is reason enough to give up shopping. Second, shopping for adult children is never pleasant. Their taste is hard to determine; and even if I divined what it was that they would want, the item would not be inexpensive,and kind to my budget.

Another reason to give up shopping is the fact that shopping is addictive. The more you shop, the more you want to recapture the excitement and shop again. Shopping gives us all a big high. And once we begin to get high, we want to keep that up.

The best reason to give up shopping is to live like a mature individual, one who realizes what's important in life, and is not easily persuaded by advertisements.

We want to enjoy togetherness, sharing stories and recipes that tell the stories of our family and connect us to each other through generations and centuries.